One of my favorite literary activities is to buy the Sunday paper and look through the best of what the editors have been holding onto, working at, and editing for an entire week. The UT is the San Diego Union-Tribune, which formerly boasted 1,000,000 readers weekly, but has since toned that retoric down. Their current slogan is simply "The World's Greatest Country and America's Finest City".
Here are my favorites from today's U-T:
1. Nelvin C. Cepeda has really captured a timeless image that could very well be titled, "Youthful Bliss". The front page of the UT has this great photo of 2 boys shagging fly balls in the outfield of Petco Park to go with a recap in the sports page of San Diego Padres fan fest. What makes this image for me is that the boys are framed perfectly against a section of the scoreboard that has the Padres logo of an interlocking "SD" and the words "Fan Fest". It's particularly great because I think back to my youth and how I would misjudge fly balls to badly that it was rare to have a picture including myself, my glove, and the ball all in the same image. More common was an image of me running with my back to home plate, both arms spread in the air like I was signifying a touchdown had occurred and the ball at least 30 yards away from me.
2. In the Local section, on page B1, Matt Clark reports on library theft in, "Libraries Let Down Guard; Theft Up". Remarkably, when the libraries turned off their security sensors, theft increased, especially of new DVDs. Go figure! It's interesting that the low volume activity reported by the library accounts for a dollar figure that it would take me 10 years to earn. What I found interesting is that the libraries seemed to be throwing their arms up in the air. You see, according to Clark's article, the reason they turned off the sensors is because they were disturbing patrons when they went off, sometimes erroneously. Now that they're off, it's like open season on theft. With this being primarily DVDs, I would think that a program of putting the boxes out, but the actual DVD behind the counter might be prudent. It's costing tax payers a lot of money to supply the libraries with current titles and to see them walk out the door with no action seems to be irresponsible at best. I applaud volunteer Elizabeth Monroe who protested the move to turn off the sensors. Hopefully, Clark's article will bring some attention to this issue and we won't be talking about an average of over 14,000 items being stolen a year any longer.
3. If you love charts and graphs, then the Business section is going to grab your interest. For anyone looking to buy or sell a home, this is great information. "Homebuyers Chase Value", by Lily Leung is the lead story of the UT's "In Depth" series. It's a recap of the Housing year where you can find a map of San Diego county broken out by zip code. Each zip code is assigned a color, which reflects the change in median-price by ZIP code for single-family homes. What a valuable resource this is! At a glance, you can see which parts of town are trending up (which is not many), which are stable, and the parts of town that are down trending. According to the map, this is a great time to be a home buyer in the county, with values dropping almost 5% over the previous year. Leung does a terrific, albeit brief, job of breaking out the different segments of the county and reporting the facts as they pertain to home values. This full page spread is a must read for anyone looking to relocate within the county, as well as in or out of San Diego county. Lot's of great information here!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
My favorite characters of all time...
this is going to be in the unsung category...
1. David Puddy
He has got to be the most underrated character in all of television history. The way he deadpanned every line.
Elaine as she's going into jail: "David, don't wait for me"
Puddy: "Ok" (Then he turns and walks out without blinking an eye)
In a separate episode, Elaine discovers that Puddy is a Bible Thumper and they get into a discussion about which one of them is going to Hell so they go visit a priest to discuss the matter.
Priest (upon clarifying that Elaine and Puddy live together and are not married) - "Oh well then it's simple. You're both going to Hell"
Puddy - "That's bogus"
2. Roger Hazard on Sell This House/Sell This House Extreme
This guy is the shit! You see him and there is no way you will predict what's coming next. He's the McGyver of home decor. This guy could come across a 2x4, some spacko, a paper plate, some duct tape and some confetti and all of a sudden you have a new design theme for your living room and it looks like a million bucks.
This guy is a genius. The best thing that A&E did was to give him a bigger budget and an extra 30 minutes per episode.
Favorite moment - Roger prewalks the house before making the improvements and, upon encountering an all purple bedroom with flowers everywhere, exclaims: "You've got to be *bleeping* kidding me", as he turns and walks out. Time spent in room: about 3.75 seconds, including time to spin around on back heel.
Best moment - Roger is able to recover/upholster/frame anything using duct tape. You wouldn't believe it. He takes the most inexpensive fabric and makes it look like the Taj Mahal of decor. No home decor hazard is too much for Roger!
3. Robert Stack from Unsolved Mysteries
I was too young to see The Untouchables, but I can only imagine Elliot Ness being one of the most iconic characters of his era. I get the next best thing when I watch Unsolved Mysteries and see Stack effortlessly narrate his way through some of the most dramatic mysteries captured on film. The way he transitions from a UFO sighting to an abduction and then to reunited loves. The worst part is when they decided to bring in Keely Shay-Smith to take some of the thunder off Robert Stack's plate. I hated the vibe that she brought, mainly because it meant less of Stack.
Favorite part: Whenever I would hear the funky music and Robert would say: "Update! Minutes after our broadcast, several people in the El Camino trailer park called our hotline to report..."
4. Two A-Holes from Saturday Night Live
Jason Sudekis and Kristin Wiig had one of the best gigs ever on SNL when they thought up the 2 A-Holes skit. There are various scenarios that are even more hilarious than the previous, like "2 A-Holes at a Nativity Scene" or "2 A-Holes at an adoption agency". The basic premise is that there's this totally serious scenario and these 2 superficial people come along and it becomes all about them as they show that they have no idea what the pee-ons of the world do.
Favorite moment: (During the "2 A-Holes at a Crime Scene" skit)
Cop: "What did he look like?" (To Wiig's character in regards to the criminal)
Wiig: "He looked like Jesus"
Cop goes through all of the sterotypical characteristics of Jesus - long hair, beard, etc. before giving up and asking how the criminal looked like Jesus
Wiig: "He was wearing sandals"
Best Moment: 2 A-Holes at an Adoption Agency
Sudekis to Wiig: "Do Borat, babe"
Wiig (rolls eyes and looks down at cell phone while smacking gum)
Sudekis: "Babe, do Borat"
Wiig (rolls eyes, sighs, and looks up) "My wife"
Sudekis (laughs and smiles then turns to Doctor): "See that my wife is smokin' hot and she does a kick ass Borat"
FYI - Borat impersonation = FAIL
5. Dalia Royce
You know her as the daughter of the rich next door neighbor, Dallas Royce, in the TV show Suburgatory. The looks of indifference on her face are priceless as she tries to comprehend the ways of the commoners around her.
Favorite Moment: In the episode, "Driving Miss Dalia", Dalia tries to get Tessa to drive her around. Tessa recently passed her driver's test and Dalia did not.
Dalia's Friend: "She'll pay you twenty bucks"
Tessa: "Psh, twenty bucks"
Dalia: "Fine I'll double it. $50 bucks"
Tessa: "Check your math"
Dalia: "Check your attitude, hooker"
They come to a agreement that Dalia would pay $100 and for gas. Dalia pulls the money out of her purse and says "Can you break a thousand?", and hands Tessa a thousand dollar bill.
Later on in that episode, Tessa accidently hits a car driven by Scott Strauss (Dalia's scope)
Dalia: "Tessa! You just banged Scott Strauss!"
Best Moment:
Dalia, upon seeing Tessa making out with a guy in public:
"Why don't you go buy a hotel"
1. David Puddy
He has got to be the most underrated character in all of television history. The way he deadpanned every line.
Elaine as she's going into jail: "David, don't wait for me"
Puddy: "Ok" (Then he turns and walks out without blinking an eye)
In a separate episode, Elaine discovers that Puddy is a Bible Thumper and they get into a discussion about which one of them is going to Hell so they go visit a priest to discuss the matter.
Priest (upon clarifying that Elaine and Puddy live together and are not married) - "Oh well then it's simple. You're both going to Hell"
Puddy - "That's bogus"
2. Roger Hazard on Sell This House/Sell This House Extreme
This guy is the shit! You see him and there is no way you will predict what's coming next. He's the McGyver of home decor. This guy could come across a 2x4, some spacko, a paper plate, some duct tape and some confetti and all of a sudden you have a new design theme for your living room and it looks like a million bucks.
This guy is a genius. The best thing that A&E did was to give him a bigger budget and an extra 30 minutes per episode.
Favorite moment - Roger prewalks the house before making the improvements and, upon encountering an all purple bedroom with flowers everywhere, exclaims: "You've got to be *bleeping* kidding me", as he turns and walks out. Time spent in room: about 3.75 seconds, including time to spin around on back heel.
Best moment - Roger is able to recover/upholster/frame anything using duct tape. You wouldn't believe it. He takes the most inexpensive fabric and makes it look like the Taj Mahal of decor. No home decor hazard is too much for Roger!
3. Robert Stack from Unsolved Mysteries
I was too young to see The Untouchables, but I can only imagine Elliot Ness being one of the most iconic characters of his era. I get the next best thing when I watch Unsolved Mysteries and see Stack effortlessly narrate his way through some of the most dramatic mysteries captured on film. The way he transitions from a UFO sighting to an abduction and then to reunited loves. The worst part is when they decided to bring in Keely Shay-Smith to take some of the thunder off Robert Stack's plate. I hated the vibe that she brought, mainly because it meant less of Stack.
Favorite part: Whenever I would hear the funky music and Robert would say: "Update! Minutes after our broadcast, several people in the El Camino trailer park called our hotline to report..."
4. Two A-Holes from Saturday Night Live
Jason Sudekis and Kristin Wiig had one of the best gigs ever on SNL when they thought up the 2 A-Holes skit. There are various scenarios that are even more hilarious than the previous, like "2 A-Holes at a Nativity Scene" or "2 A-Holes at an adoption agency". The basic premise is that there's this totally serious scenario and these 2 superficial people come along and it becomes all about them as they show that they have no idea what the pee-ons of the world do.
Favorite moment: (During the "2 A-Holes at a Crime Scene" skit)
Cop: "What did he look like?" (To Wiig's character in regards to the criminal)
Wiig: "He looked like Jesus"
Cop goes through all of the sterotypical characteristics of Jesus - long hair, beard, etc. before giving up and asking how the criminal looked like Jesus
Wiig: "He was wearing sandals"
Best Moment: 2 A-Holes at an Adoption Agency
Sudekis to Wiig: "Do Borat, babe"
Wiig (rolls eyes and looks down at cell phone while smacking gum)
Sudekis: "Babe, do Borat"
Wiig (rolls eyes, sighs, and looks up) "My wife"
Sudekis (laughs and smiles then turns to Doctor): "See that my wife is smokin' hot and she does a kick ass Borat"
FYI - Borat impersonation = FAIL
5. Dalia Royce
You know her as the daughter of the rich next door neighbor, Dallas Royce, in the TV show Suburgatory. The looks of indifference on her face are priceless as she tries to comprehend the ways of the commoners around her.
Favorite Moment: In the episode, "Driving Miss Dalia", Dalia tries to get Tessa to drive her around. Tessa recently passed her driver's test and Dalia did not.
Dalia's Friend: "She'll pay you twenty bucks"
Tessa: "Psh, twenty bucks"
Dalia: "Fine I'll double it. $50 bucks"
Tessa: "Check your math"
Dalia: "Check your attitude, hooker"
They come to a agreement that Dalia would pay $100 and for gas. Dalia pulls the money out of her purse and says "Can you break a thousand?", and hands Tessa a thousand dollar bill.
Later on in that episode, Tessa accidently hits a car driven by Scott Strauss (Dalia's scope)
Dalia: "Tessa! You just banged Scott Strauss!"
Best Moment:
Dalia, upon seeing Tessa making out with a guy in public:
"Why don't you go buy a hotel"
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Rent don't own...
When I bought my first house, I recall thinking how excited I was to own my first house after working a "real" job (read: not a job that I, as a 20-something, would be the oldest employee at) for 3 years. I layed on the cheap, starter carpet and did "snow angels". It was a great feeling.
Now, a second home, housing and bank crisis later I'm not so excited about home ownership. It's great to pour all of your hard-earned money into a lawn that won't grow, or spend a third of your paycheck on a mortgage that is like gold if you're one of the few people to still be above water. The single worst thing that I can say about home ownership is that if you ever have an opportunity to move to another area and improve your life or finances, it becomes that much more difficult. You can't sell your house, unless of course you're prepared to lose money on it. Even if you are able to find a buyer, it will take so long that you might die of old age waiting for it to come to fruition. There are so many homes for sale that your house really needs to stand out in order to attract a buyer, much less one that won't low ball you.
In this day and age, I'm in direct support of renting. Renting means that when the furnace dies, it's not your problem. When the siding blows off the house in a windstorm, it's not your problem. When you get a better job offer and have to move, it's not a big deal. At worst, you're going to pay a lease break penalty and you're off. Plus, there are no real estate taxes or home owner's association fees to worry about. Concerned with the tax break at the end of the year. Please! I used to think that, then realized all of the fees and taxes that I was paying that more than offset any benefit I received when filing my taxes.
Now there are drawbacks to renting. If you're in a complex, then you're going to have your transient types that are in and out more frequently than your trips to the bathroom. You'll have your pot smokers, reckless drivers, wafer thin walls, and the guy walking through your parking lot with a "Wife Beater", flip flops, and boxer shorts talking on a cell phone. This occurs so often you wonder when he finds the time to recharge, or shower for that matter.
You'll also get the benefit of several amenities, such as a fitness room or swimming pool that most homeowners would have to pay extra for. The best amenity is that if you're not happy with your rental, you're a few short months away from having the opportunity to relocate.
While there are benefits and drawbacks to each, I think that renting makes life much easier!
Now, a second home, housing and bank crisis later I'm not so excited about home ownership. It's great to pour all of your hard-earned money into a lawn that won't grow, or spend a third of your paycheck on a mortgage that is like gold if you're one of the few people to still be above water. The single worst thing that I can say about home ownership is that if you ever have an opportunity to move to another area and improve your life or finances, it becomes that much more difficult. You can't sell your house, unless of course you're prepared to lose money on it. Even if you are able to find a buyer, it will take so long that you might die of old age waiting for it to come to fruition. There are so many homes for sale that your house really needs to stand out in order to attract a buyer, much less one that won't low ball you.
In this day and age, I'm in direct support of renting. Renting means that when the furnace dies, it's not your problem. When the siding blows off the house in a windstorm, it's not your problem. When you get a better job offer and have to move, it's not a big deal. At worst, you're going to pay a lease break penalty and you're off. Plus, there are no real estate taxes or home owner's association fees to worry about. Concerned with the tax break at the end of the year. Please! I used to think that, then realized all of the fees and taxes that I was paying that more than offset any benefit I received when filing my taxes.
Now there are drawbacks to renting. If you're in a complex, then you're going to have your transient types that are in and out more frequently than your trips to the bathroom. You'll have your pot smokers, reckless drivers, wafer thin walls, and the guy walking through your parking lot with a "Wife Beater", flip flops, and boxer shorts talking on a cell phone. This occurs so often you wonder when he finds the time to recharge, or shower for that matter.
You'll also get the benefit of several amenities, such as a fitness room or swimming pool that most homeowners would have to pay extra for. The best amenity is that if you're not happy with your rental, you're a few short months away from having the opportunity to relocate.
While there are benefits and drawbacks to each, I think that renting makes life much easier!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
My Top Super Bowl Memories...
To celebrate the biggest American sporting event of the year, I'm going to talk about my favorite memories of the big game!
2004 - I lived in Charlotte at the time and everyone was going crazy because the Carolina Panthers were in the Super Bowl for the 1st time. Pretty funny because if you surveyed the town 4 months earlier 1 in 5 people would not admit to being a Panther fan. This was memorable for me because it was the first time I had a Super Bowl party. It wasn't quite up to the status of the Maxim Super Bowl party or anything, but it was fun and man was there a lot of food. It was, of course, highlighted by Boobgate or whatever people are calling the whole Janet Jackson-Justin Timberlake thing. I remember watching with my friends and we all looked at each other thinking "Was that her..." Our neighbor would occasionally pop in and out with his giant blue foam Panther paws. I've been trying unsuccessfully for 8 years to erase that memory. *shakes head....*
2005 - So one year later, Jill and I are watching the SuperBowl and towards the end I go into the kitchen to get a drink and come back out and the game is no longer on. Jill is watching Full House. So, instead of watching the big drive, etc, I am watching Uncle Jesse chasing Kimmy Gibbler around or whatever. Really - Gibbler....that's a name you should never utter on SuperBowl Sunday.
1989 - So obviously this list isn't chronological. This is the only SuperBowl I've ever missed in my life. It was the Bengals vs. the 49ers. Probably one of the greatest games every played. While many will remember this SuperBowl for another chapter of "Montana Magic", an equally popular memory will be that I missed the game due to being grounded. I couldn't believe that I was grounded for the big game, so I did what any other person would do. I busted out my walkman and listened to the game on the radio. Nice plan, except my walkman was one of those sketchy jobbies that got static interference with even an ill-timed breath. "Montana back to throw *FSSHHSHSHSHSHSHHS* to Taylor...*FHSSSSHSHSHSHSHSH* and they've decided to huddle up." That was how most of the game went. Like a hopeful child with unbridled optimism, that had not yet been crushed by the cruelties of the world, I held out until the bitter end. One of the greatest games I never saw.
1991 - The first of my four year long nightmare that was the Buffalo Bills SuperBowl run. Everyone was insane. The stupid Bills shout song is forever etched in my brain. Ugh! So, why is this on my list of top memories? 2 words - Scott Norwood. For any person who was either a Giants fan, or not a Bills fan, those 2 words bring a smile to their faces. Unfortunately, what I don't like about his name is that many of the idiot Bills fans like to blame him for the loss. It's not his fault that it came down to a 49 yard field goal at the end of the game. Check the stats - no kicker had made a field goal of that distance in the SuperBowl at that point. That's a good example of why I can't stand the Bills. Their fans pin all of the mistakes and foul-ups of an entire game on one person. Stay classy Bills fans. This was one of the greatest days of my life. (Look, when your team stinks so bad that they haven't made it to the big game in my lifetime, you have to focus on baby steps. This was one day that no one was talking about how bad my team was!)
2007 - We planned a spontaneous trip to Dallas to watch the SuperBowl with a friend from Niagara Falls. The game wasn't memorable, but we had such a good time. The thing that I loved about my friend, Dana, is that he can throw one hell of a party. The best part is that he couldn't have cared less about the game. He and my wife spent the whole game making fun of the commercials. The game wasn't memorable, but this was one of my favorite because I got to take a spontaneous trip and have a great time, even if the the conversation was more in the vein of "...what is she wearing..." vs. "...what an awesome pass!"
2004 - I lived in Charlotte at the time and everyone was going crazy because the Carolina Panthers were in the Super Bowl for the 1st time. Pretty funny because if you surveyed the town 4 months earlier 1 in 5 people would not admit to being a Panther fan. This was memorable for me because it was the first time I had a Super Bowl party. It wasn't quite up to the status of the Maxim Super Bowl party or anything, but it was fun and man was there a lot of food. It was, of course, highlighted by Boobgate or whatever people are calling the whole Janet Jackson-Justin Timberlake thing. I remember watching with my friends and we all looked at each other thinking "Was that her..." Our neighbor would occasionally pop in and out with his giant blue foam Panther paws. I've been trying unsuccessfully for 8 years to erase that memory. *shakes head....*
2005 - So one year later, Jill and I are watching the SuperBowl and towards the end I go into the kitchen to get a drink and come back out and the game is no longer on. Jill is watching Full House. So, instead of watching the big drive, etc, I am watching Uncle Jesse chasing Kimmy Gibbler around or whatever. Really - Gibbler....that's a name you should never utter on SuperBowl Sunday.
1989 - So obviously this list isn't chronological. This is the only SuperBowl I've ever missed in my life. It was the Bengals vs. the 49ers. Probably one of the greatest games every played. While many will remember this SuperBowl for another chapter of "Montana Magic", an equally popular memory will be that I missed the game due to being grounded. I couldn't believe that I was grounded for the big game, so I did what any other person would do. I busted out my walkman and listened to the game on the radio. Nice plan, except my walkman was one of those sketchy jobbies that got static interference with even an ill-timed breath. "Montana back to throw *FSSHHSHSHSHSHSHHS* to Taylor...*FHSSSSHSHSHSHSHSH* and they've decided to huddle up." That was how most of the game went. Like a hopeful child with unbridled optimism, that had not yet been crushed by the cruelties of the world, I held out until the bitter end. One of the greatest games I never saw.
1991 - The first of my four year long nightmare that was the Buffalo Bills SuperBowl run. Everyone was insane. The stupid Bills shout song is forever etched in my brain. Ugh! So, why is this on my list of top memories? 2 words - Scott Norwood. For any person who was either a Giants fan, or not a Bills fan, those 2 words bring a smile to their faces. Unfortunately, what I don't like about his name is that many of the idiot Bills fans like to blame him for the loss. It's not his fault that it came down to a 49 yard field goal at the end of the game. Check the stats - no kicker had made a field goal of that distance in the SuperBowl at that point. That's a good example of why I can't stand the Bills. Their fans pin all of the mistakes and foul-ups of an entire game on one person. Stay classy Bills fans. This was one of the greatest days of my life. (Look, when your team stinks so bad that they haven't made it to the big game in my lifetime, you have to focus on baby steps. This was one day that no one was talking about how bad my team was!)
2007 - We planned a spontaneous trip to Dallas to watch the SuperBowl with a friend from Niagara Falls. The game wasn't memorable, but we had such a good time. The thing that I loved about my friend, Dana, is that he can throw one hell of a party. The best part is that he couldn't have cared less about the game. He and my wife spent the whole game making fun of the commercials. The game wasn't memorable, but this was one of my favorite because I got to take a spontaneous trip and have a great time, even if the the conversation was more in the vein of "...what is she wearing..." vs. "...what an awesome pass!"
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Cross-Country Trip --> Day Tres!
The highlight of our 3rd day was clearly leaving the Motel 6. Not even gonna lie, I never thought it would be so cold deep in the heart of Texas. Pretty sure it was like 33 degrees when we left, although a large part of that could be that we left at the crack of dawn due to our sketchy neighbors in the Motel 6 in Big Springs. I halfway expected to wake up and see a corpse or some other unconscious individuals laying in the doorsteps of their rooms with trash and graffiti everywhere. So, basically, I've been watching too much CSI/ Law and Order/ 48 Hours...you get the idea. As a result, I'm going to get Stone Philips to narrate the rest of my blog.
So, we hit the road amongst frigid conditions and then we had the coffee incident. We traveled about an hour or so towards El Paso and then stopped to get a warm beverage. I had the idea that I could walk Sammie while Jill went inside McDonald's to get her drink. About 45 minutes into the freezing free for all, I began to wonder where the deuce Jill was. Thoughts of abductions filled my mind. All I could think of is some backwoods type movie involving chloroform and a house in the woods. The kind of flick that at least one person in the group is deciding to wuss out off because they don't like to be scared or some crap like that. These same people think that "Blair Witch" is a cuss word, by the way. Not judging, just saying.
Just as my mind was about to go completely off the deep end, Jill comes walking out of "the restaurant" (it was McDonald's, so you can barely qualify it as a restaurant.) with nothing. So now I'm totally confused. Was she sitting inside the restaurant drinking her coffee while I was outside freezing to death? She came into the car and was pissed because the girl didn't put the top on correctly and the coffee spilled everywhere and she was too frustrated to go back. Being the supportive husband that I am, I told her that we weren't wasting the 2 bucks/45 minutes (which seemed more like half a day at this point) and that she was going to go back and demand a new cup, which she did and within a few minutes all was right in her world. She was hugging the cup as if she was an eskimo sitting over an ice fishing hole and most likely happier than a bumblebee on a flower.
That is until we encountered Ciudad Juarez. "HONEY! THE BLACK LINE IS ON THE GPS AND WE ARE RIGHT ON TOP OF IT!!!!" You can almost see her eyes bugging out of her head as she notices that we're driving alongside the international border that separates El Paso, TX and Ciudad Juarez. Pretty sure she thought some Mexican pirates were going to jump out of a helicopter and land on our 65mph moving vehicle and pull off some Mission Impossible type stunt before hijaking our car, etc. You get the idea.
File this under "All Over the Place", but one of the more disturbing things is when we got out of the car at the "Welcome to Arizona" rest stop and discovered that there was absolutely no grass. None. Zilch. Zero. More grass in the glove boxes around the parking lot, than there was for miles on end. This presents a problem when your dog has to go to the bathroom and she is used to going on the green stuff. We walked around and finally she found a stony area that seemed to do. What I didn't care for is that there were these little burrs everywhere and they were all getting stuck in her little paw pads and when I pulled them out, they were all bleeding. Poor thing. She's much more resourceful than I am. I would have been crying like a bitch for the rest of the day. Did I mention at this point the wife is still bringing up Ciudad Juarez, or the black line, or something else that I was unsuccessfully trying to tune out.
This day ended with a complete 180 from where we started. We pulled into Tuscon at a Hampton Inn that seemed like a palace compared to the Motel 69 that we stayed at the previous night. To make matters complete, it was like 70 degrees and there was grass. And by grass, I mean resembling a lawn and not the Standing Room Only section of a Grateful Dead concert. We walked to a local bar and grill, got some "To-Go" and ate the best meal we'd had in at least 3 days. Next stop - SAN DIEGO!
So, we hit the road amongst frigid conditions and then we had the coffee incident. We traveled about an hour or so towards El Paso and then stopped to get a warm beverage. I had the idea that I could walk Sammie while Jill went inside McDonald's to get her drink. About 45 minutes into the freezing free for all, I began to wonder where the deuce Jill was. Thoughts of abductions filled my mind. All I could think of is some backwoods type movie involving chloroform and a house in the woods. The kind of flick that at least one person in the group is deciding to wuss out off because they don't like to be scared or some crap like that. These same people think that "Blair Witch" is a cuss word, by the way. Not judging, just saying.
Just as my mind was about to go completely off the deep end, Jill comes walking out of "the restaurant" (it was McDonald's, so you can barely qualify it as a restaurant.) with nothing. So now I'm totally confused. Was she sitting inside the restaurant drinking her coffee while I was outside freezing to death? She came into the car and was pissed because the girl didn't put the top on correctly and the coffee spilled everywhere and she was too frustrated to go back. Being the supportive husband that I am, I told her that we weren't wasting the 2 bucks/45 minutes (which seemed more like half a day at this point) and that she was going to go back and demand a new cup, which she did and within a few minutes all was right in her world. She was hugging the cup as if she was an eskimo sitting over an ice fishing hole and most likely happier than a bumblebee on a flower.
That is until we encountered Ciudad Juarez. "HONEY! THE BLACK LINE IS ON THE GPS AND WE ARE RIGHT ON TOP OF IT!!!!" You can almost see her eyes bugging out of her head as she notices that we're driving alongside the international border that separates El Paso, TX and Ciudad Juarez. Pretty sure she thought some Mexican pirates were going to jump out of a helicopter and land on our 65mph moving vehicle and pull off some Mission Impossible type stunt before hijaking our car, etc. You get the idea.
File this under "All Over the Place", but one of the more disturbing things is when we got out of the car at the "Welcome to Arizona" rest stop and discovered that there was absolutely no grass. None. Zilch. Zero. More grass in the glove boxes around the parking lot, than there was for miles on end. This presents a problem when your dog has to go to the bathroom and she is used to going on the green stuff. We walked around and finally she found a stony area that seemed to do. What I didn't care for is that there were these little burrs everywhere and they were all getting stuck in her little paw pads and when I pulled them out, they were all bleeding. Poor thing. She's much more resourceful than I am. I would have been crying like a bitch for the rest of the day. Did I mention at this point the wife is still bringing up Ciudad Juarez, or the black line, or something else that I was unsuccessfully trying to tune out.
This day ended with a complete 180 from where we started. We pulled into Tuscon at a Hampton Inn that seemed like a palace compared to the Motel 69 that we stayed at the previous night. To make matters complete, it was like 70 degrees and there was grass. And by grass, I mean resembling a lawn and not the Standing Room Only section of a Grateful Dead concert. We walked to a local bar and grill, got some "To-Go" and ate the best meal we'd had in at least 3 days. Next stop - SAN DIEGO!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Big Spring, TX and the Motel Seis
Day 2 in Big Texas - Man this state goes on forever!
Years ago, I was traveling in Florida and I decided that I wanted to save a few bucks, so I stayed at a Super 8. How bad could it be? They had a continental breakfast - that I decided separated it from the rest. What I've since realized is that I'm at that point in my life where Super 8's are not exactly clean. I was frustrated after a night where I literally slept with one eye open. All I wanted was my continental breakfast. To loosely quote George Costanza - this story is not embellished, simply because it needs no embellishing. It is simply the story of my life. So I went to the office to get some breakfast and this guy who is literally wearing a step up from a bathrobe shuffles over, opens a drawer, pulls out 2 honey buns and directs me to a pitcher of room temperature water. That was the final straw. I decided at that point that I would never again stay in an establishment that was this shoddy. If I was in college, slumming it, then sure, no problem. But, never again.
Enter - Big Spring, TX. The gods of mileage and time converged on this small town between Dallas and El Paso, TX. Once I got west of Dallas, there were tens of miles that we would drive where the road qualified as the most significant man made structure. Big Spring kinda appeared out of no where. The coolest thing about the drive into Big Spring is that we spent about 45 minutes driving into the sunset which was a really cool thing to see. Picture it: An Arizona license plate. Got it? Ok, that's what it looked like.
The most reputable place to stay in Big Spring - which to remind you - is like a megalopolis compared to anything within a 50 mile radius - was a Motel 6. Oh Freaking Dear. It put Super 8 into a luxury class. If they had a Continental breakfast, i wouldn't have eaten it. No way. I wanted to wear an astronaut suit so that my body didn't have to touch anything in that room. It smelled like fajitas, which is the official air freshener of the Motel 6. As we walked into Taquito haven, what struck me is all of these people staying there who had their doors open and were standing in the doorway. Not exactly Donald J. Trump and Associates. If you should ever get the urge to stay there, you can look forward to the comforter with the best of Motel 6 all over it. And when I say the best, I mean the sun with the Motel 6 in the rearview. That's literally as close as you should ever get to a Motel 6. Honestly, I wish in retrospect that I would have risked narcolepsy and drove straight to Cuidad Juarez. Clearly, that would have been a better option - trafficking included.
Day 3 will be a big day for us. We'll be driving for a complete day for the last time and are looking forward to our night in a nice, clean Hampton Inn. After staying at the Motel 6, you cannot imagine how great it feels to stay at a nice place.
Years ago, I was traveling in Florida and I decided that I wanted to save a few bucks, so I stayed at a Super 8. How bad could it be? They had a continental breakfast - that I decided separated it from the rest. What I've since realized is that I'm at that point in my life where Super 8's are not exactly clean. I was frustrated after a night where I literally slept with one eye open. All I wanted was my continental breakfast. To loosely quote George Costanza - this story is not embellished, simply because it needs no embellishing. It is simply the story of my life. So I went to the office to get some breakfast and this guy who is literally wearing a step up from a bathrobe shuffles over, opens a drawer, pulls out 2 honey buns and directs me to a pitcher of room temperature water. That was the final straw. I decided at that point that I would never again stay in an establishment that was this shoddy. If I was in college, slumming it, then sure, no problem. But, never again.
Enter - Big Spring, TX. The gods of mileage and time converged on this small town between Dallas and El Paso, TX. Once I got west of Dallas, there were tens of miles that we would drive where the road qualified as the most significant man made structure. Big Spring kinda appeared out of no where. The coolest thing about the drive into Big Spring is that we spent about 45 minutes driving into the sunset which was a really cool thing to see. Picture it: An Arizona license plate. Got it? Ok, that's what it looked like.
The most reputable place to stay in Big Spring - which to remind you - is like a megalopolis compared to anything within a 50 mile radius - was a Motel 6. Oh Freaking Dear. It put Super 8 into a luxury class. If they had a Continental breakfast, i wouldn't have eaten it. No way. I wanted to wear an astronaut suit so that my body didn't have to touch anything in that room. It smelled like fajitas, which is the official air freshener of the Motel 6. As we walked into Taquito haven, what struck me is all of these people staying there who had their doors open and were standing in the doorway. Not exactly Donald J. Trump and Associates. If you should ever get the urge to stay there, you can look forward to the comforter with the best of Motel 6 all over it. And when I say the best, I mean the sun with the Motel 6 in the rearview. That's literally as close as you should ever get to a Motel 6. Honestly, I wish in retrospect that I would have risked narcolepsy and drove straight to Cuidad Juarez. Clearly, that would have been a better option - trafficking included.
Day 3 will be a big day for us. We'll be driving for a complete day for the last time and are looking forward to our night in a nice, clean Hampton Inn. After staying at the Motel 6, you cannot imagine how great it feels to stay at a nice place.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
New Guy!
One of the funniest things that a few friends adopted while working at Tops was that whenever a new person started working there, we'd refer to them as "New Guy" or "New Girl". There was a guy, named Bobby Singh, who would actually go make name tags for the newbies that said "New Guy". In fact, I left to go to school and came back months later and was shocked to see "George", or whatever the person's name was, on his name tag rather than "New Guy". I was like, "New Guy, what's this all about," as I pointed to his name tag.
In any event, I have carried this on to all of my other jobs since. In fact, one time at my last job, a "New Girl" started and then a week later there was another "New Girl" in the same department. Needless to say, it was confusing. Proper protocol is that they keep the "New Guy/Girl" moniker for 2 weeks. After that it becomes ridiculous.
As I began a new job last month, I was now the "New Guy" and I told them that it was only customary that they replace my name plate with "New Guy". On a positive note, they have me listed in the company directory as "Jeffrey Thomas". UGH! Who does that? Was my mom in the new associate setup area? I told them they could call me JT for short. Ugh. That, and whoever set up my email account used my full name and so everyone is emailing me, "Hi Jeffrey!" Ugh!
One of the best parts of the new job, other than being called "New Guy", is that I get to bring Sammie to work with me. It's great, because she can play in the dog park that is on-site, or she can relax in my office. It's a lot of fun for her and it makes my day a lot more interesting. =)
In any event, I have carried this on to all of my other jobs since. In fact, one time at my last job, a "New Girl" started and then a week later there was another "New Girl" in the same department. Needless to say, it was confusing. Proper protocol is that they keep the "New Guy/Girl" moniker for 2 weeks. After that it becomes ridiculous.
As I began a new job last month, I was now the "New Guy" and I told them that it was only customary that they replace my name plate with "New Guy". On a positive note, they have me listed in the company directory as "Jeffrey Thomas". UGH! Who does that? Was my mom in the new associate setup area? I told them they could call me JT for short. Ugh. That, and whoever set up my email account used my full name and so everyone is emailing me, "Hi Jeffrey!" Ugh!
One of the best parts of the new job, other than being called "New Guy", is that I get to bring Sammie to work with me. It's great, because she can play in the dog park that is on-site, or she can relax in my office. It's a lot of fun for her and it makes my day a lot more interesting. =)
Now For The Pictures!
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| First Day on the Job! You can just barely see my "Scuba Hulk" placard that I was given when I got on board. It's Rock Star! |
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| I was trying to get Sammie to stay still but she was so excited about being at work that this blurry mess was the best that I could do. This is her first day on the job! |
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| Sammie checking out the happenings of the Companion Animal division. |
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| Sammie at the watering hole. |
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| Sammie asleep on the job! |
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| I've found that one of the best ways to keep her busy is by stuffing her Kong with some food. She literally is going to town for as long as there is even the slightest odor of food left on the Kong. We are approaching "Squeaky Clean" status at this point. |
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