8 Days of Celebration - Volume 2 - The Toss

One thing that we had always wanted to do is go camping.  I had gone several times as a kid with my parents, but never by myself. 
So Jill and I decided to go with Ben and Katherine Hutchens a couple of years ago.  Not being that experienced, we went to a KOA campsite so that we weren't going to be totally roughing it.  I talked to a friend a few years back who was talking to me about going camping and they were talking about bringing their own toilet paper and she made it sound like taking a dip in the lake was the equivalent of showering.  I definitely wasn't going to have a Blair Witch Project type scenario, so the KOA was perfect. 

So, we got there and pulled out everything and set up our tent and everything else.  Before I go into the weekend, let me start off by saying that we were camping on a weekend where the humidity was at least 70%.  It was awful.  The first day, we inflated our air mattress and put our sheets and sleeping bag on top.  When we went to bed, there was so much dew on our sheets and sleeping bags that I thought someone had drooled all over my bedding.  It was so gross.  There is nothing like being out in the wilderness and the sheets are literally sticking to your body like you're having a wet t-shirt contest.  I swear you could have created a perfect mold of my body from the sheet.  When we woke up in the morning, we packed our sheets and sleeping bags into the car, and didn't pull them out until right before we went to bed and that seemed to solve that problem.
There's something interesting about waking up on a campsite.  You have to be conscious that there are several other people within a very short distance of you.  For example, one morning I got up and noticed that there was a water jug outside of the tent next to us.  I thought that was weird.  I mean, if they wanted water in case they got thirsty before bed, why not bring the water in with them?  Why leave it outside the tent?  Well, the answer to my question was soon answered when I noticed that they brought the jug into the tent and then after a few moments, brought it back out and there was a yellowish liquid that had not previously been occupying the jug.  What's worse was that I'm pretty sure this was shared by a male and female.  How on earth did they execute that first thing in the morning?  I mean, if they were awake enough to prevent spillage, they could have just as easily done the walk of shame to the bathroom, which wasn't very far away.  But I digress.
There was a small lake behind our campsite, which was at least 3 quarters algae.  There were so many lily pads that I could barely tell there was water.  What little water I could see was so black, it was impossible to see more than a few inches into the water.
The lake was pretty modest.  It couldn't have been wider than about 50 yards or so.  I had this small mini football and Ben and I decided to try and see if I could throw the football and reach the other side.  I was pretty confident because the ball fit into my hand well and like I said, the lake wasn't very wide.  So I wound up and threw it.  The ball launched into the air.  I practically launched myself into the disgusting lake.  Whew!  That was close!  Then this look of horror came over my face as I realized that the ball had no chance of making it to the other side.  I see the ball plop down and determine that I can get a stick and bring the ball back to land.  Ben and I walk around.  Once we reach the other side, we see that the ball is about 20 feet away from land.  I have my bathing suit on, so I figure that I will just walk in and get the ball.  It's disgusting, but how deep could it be.  Well, on my second step in, I'm sinking like I've just stepped into quicksand and as it is, the water is up to my waist.  I've determined at this point there is considerable risk to any attempt at walking in to get the ball.  As I mentioned before, there are tons of lilly pads for as far as the eye can see.  I decide that this 4.95 football is valuable enough that I should risk my life by swimming into this black goop.  I dive in and to my surprise, the lily pads are connected to the ground via a series of root type vines.  I suppose I should have been paying closer attention in science class because I did not realize the root system existed, although it makes perfect sense now.  So, I'm swinging my arms to create a path through the lily pads and the roots are coiling around my arms and legs.  At this point, I don't know what is creating more panic, the root coilage, or the effort to keep my head as high as possible as to avoid the black sludge going anywhere near my face/mouth/nose, etc.
So, I get to the football and decide, rather than stop I'm going to make a U-Turn and head back.  I get back and literally look like Swamp Thing.  There is black and green sludge all over my body.  Here's the worst part.  We just realize that church is in like 30 minutes and I look at smell like a landfill.  I go and simulate a shower and I'm pretty sure I clogged up the drain with mud, slime, and algae.  In church, I'm quite sure everyone was looking at me to determine the source of "that smell". 
What my friend Ben remarked about the experience is that it was "the roughest doggie paddle" he'd ever seen.  But at least I still have my "prized" football.