Can you tell me how to get?

In honor of this being the 40th anniversary of Sesame Street, I thought I'd share a favorite passage from "Bigfoot's Memoirs".  This is hilarious!  The gramatical errors are intentional, by the way.
Excerpt from Me Write Book, by Graham Roumieu...
When first start out audition for a lot of roles.  Agent at time think I suited for children program because I furry and talk simple.  Go in try out for role on new show for public television but get beat out by giant yellow bird.  Also try out for role of him friend but beat out by freaky elephant.  Get angry and throw chair across set, hit this talentless green guy who also no get lead role.  Turn out I break him back with chair and make him paralyze.  He try sue network.  He get miserable from not walk and start live in garbage can.  Network offer him role as settlement for lawsuit.  I try to get role as garbage man who carry him around but he just scream in terror and hid in can when I around.  So unprofessional.

So, one of the biggest drains on our finances seems to be eating.  Whether it's going out to eat, picking up things at the grocery store, or the like, more than half of our money goes to these places.  Have you ever gone grocery shopping and then gone back within a period of time to "pick up a couple of things"?  Pretty much, any time that we do that, we walk out spending at least 20-25 dollars.  I read a book that has helped me with a philosophy on this.  We try to go to the grocery store once a month.  During this one trip, we get everything that we'll need for an entire month.  If there are extra things that we need, like milk, we buy extra and freeze it.  For fruits and vegetables, we determine what the shelf life is of each item and then eat accordingly.  For example, bananas usually last about a week, grapes about 2-3 weeks, oranges about 3 weeks, and apples about 3-4 weeks.  So, when we're eating, we go for the bananas first, and then make our way through the fruit, saving the apples for last.  The main thing is that we stay within our set amount by making only one trip.  When we first started doing this, we brought cash, a calculator, a note pad, and the ad.  If we went over the cash that we had, then we had to put something back.  It was a good way for us to prioritize what we wanted to buy.

Going out to eat is another story.  I think that this is how we overextend ourselves more often.  Especially with the popularity of using a credit card, it becomes easy to go out to eat because you don't have to be accountable until the end of the month.  It's really easy for everything to add up.  One thing we're going to try is to have cash for when we go out to eat.  That way, we're having to phsically take out the money.  This helps us in another aspect that we're concerned with.  The whole idea of someone taking our credit card away from us to swipe it makes us a little leary.  It's become common place to trust the server that is taking your card from you, but how do you know that this person isn't a druggie, or in need of finding ways to pay their bills.  It wouldn't take much for them to write down the personal information of your card, google your address, and then charge everything under the sun online.  Paying with cash takes all of these variables out of the equation. 

Just last night, for example, I went to get some dessert at Applebees.  The girl, I'll call her Stephanie, was busy when we were seated, so the manager came and took our order.  Like, I said, we just ordered dessert, so there wasn't a whole lot to remember.  Stephanie came by and apologized for the taking of our order taking so long.  After a reasonable amount of time we got our dessert.  It was really good.  After some time, I began to look around for Stephanie for our check.  Another server came over and mentioned that I appeared to be looking for someone.  I explained that I needed my check.  This server approached Stephanie and asked for our check.  In clear earshot, Stephanie defiantly exclaimed, "I didn't even take their order."  Well, 'preciate it, Stephanie.  When we finally received the check, it had her name on it.  Acknowledging the fact that Stephanie did nothing for us, I left her a 0.00 tip on my credit card.  I couldn't help but think afterwards though that if she got pissed at us, then she had my credit card information to alter the bill in her favor.  This is what prompted me to think more carefully about not paying with my credit card in the future at restaurants. 

This blog was brought to you by the letter E.