Guest Blogger: The Dog Barker

Hello! 
I'm guest blogging for Daddy today!  I've had so much fun the past few days that I just can't help but tell you all about it.

First of all, Mommy and Daddy have decided that I'm such a good girl that I don't have to stay in my crate at all anymore.  Every now and again, I'll sniff around in there to get my best friends, Purple Bear, BaBa, or Duckie, but other than that, I can sleep on the couches, or just on the rug.  Plus, it's so nice to stretch out.  I haven't had any accidents, either.  I've learned my lesson about ripping the comforters and pillows to shreds.  Apparently, if you do that it isn't as much fun for the adults as it is for the Doggies.

Well, on Tuesday I got to go one of my favorite places in the whole world, THE GREENWAY!!!!  My favorite part is at the very end when I get to jump in the stream.  Daddy keeps me on the leash so when I jump in I make sure to splash him in hopes that he'll let go of the leash so that I can run and jump all the way down the stream bed.  Oh well.  A dog can dream, can't she?

We got back home and I had to take my medicine.  I've learned that if I stay really still Mommy will give me treats while Daddy puts the medicine on my skin.  Thank goodness it's only once a month, because I'm always so excited that I can barely sit still.

I don't want to upset Mommy, but I wish that she wouldn't take up so much room on the bed at night.  Sometimes I think that if I just keep moving over, she'll sleep on that flat pancake she calls a bed that sits on the floor next to the big bed.  She's so much nicer than Daddy though.  If I try to move over by him, he pushes me back and I end up having to jump off the bed in protest.  I sure do show him!

After my walk today, Mommy and Daddy gave me a bath.  My shampoo smells so GOOD!  I'll bet that they picked out the most expensive shampoo in the world, because boy does it make me feel like a whole new girl!  I hate when the water gets in my ears though.  At one point, Mommy turned her back and I shook some of the water off of my fur.  Ha Ha Ha!  You should have seen Daddy!  He looked like he had the measles with all of the wet spots on his T-Shirt.  Mommy was like, "What happened?"  Then Daddy showed her the wall where all the water was that I shook off.  I almost thought that someone painted a mural on the wall because as the water ran down, it created the coolest designs.  The best part about my bath is that Mommy always gives me treats if I sit still and don't squirm.  Especially on days like today when I'm sweating, it feels so good to take a bath.  Taking a bath reminds me of when Daddy pulls out the big Whale pool in the backyard.  When he's trying to fill the pool with water, I like jumping in and splashing everything in site!  Ahhhhhh!  What a life!

Well, it's almost time for my nightly snack!  (Psss:  I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!) Thank you, Daddy for letting me guest blog!  Good night!

Sammie

Walmart is the worst store EVER! DO NOT SHOP THERE!

Why does anyone shop there?  I can't understand it.  The whole place is ghetto and trashy and the whole corporate philosophy is destroying America as we know it. 
They start by charging low prices for things.  How can they do this?  They pay next to nothing for their employees.  So, while other establishments hire and train individuals to suceed in multiple situations, Walmart hires largely unskilled labor, and they train these individuals by forcing them to watch computer videos for "x" number of hours.  The videos are so boring that they make watching paint dry exciting.  I can think of no better way to learn, than to sit in an isolated room with sketcho lighting watching a video.  Contrast that with other companies who put their new hires on the floor and expose them to a variety of situations and have them learn by doing.  Walmart will never be able to do this, because the people in leadership roles don't know how to run a retail establishment, much less teach another.

Case in point.  We go for some odds and ends this weekend and have a coupon for "Any 2" of Right Guard Deordorant.  In the aisle, there was a 2 pack that was priced slightly less than 2 individuals.  I picked up the 2 pack.  I can see this either way, that the 2 pack was 1 Right Guard Product, or that the 2 pack consisted of 2 products because it wasn't like you were getting one for free, they were just packaged together.  That's not my beef.  Cutting to the chase the coupon was refused, of course, and then the blonde haired Customer Service Manager, with the attractive Tatoo on her forearm, (Why didn't I get one of those?  It could have read "Mother".  Darn!) told me that it was Walmart's policy that they had to be individual purchases.  I was like, where is the policy stated?  She digs through a file cabinet for a few seconds and then comes back (Mind you, for some obscene reason I've been waiting for 5 minutes while the cashier is laughing and carrying on with her friend instead of getting the Tatooed Service Manager) and takes the coupon and scans it to illicit the error message.  "See, it doesn't scan," she retorts "intelligently".  Has she ever in her life heard of an override?  I ask to speak to a store manager.  She tells me that he's out getting a tatoo as well and won't be back until Monday.  Like, she's the head of the operation at the moment.  Seriously?  But for my consolation prize, I can call back on Monday and speak to him.  I leave all of my belongings there and go home and call the Manager.  Guess who's back already?  It wasn't even Sunday yet, let alone Monday.  Must be the ink shop is right around the corner from Walmart.  As for the Jesse James hooker wanna be, you're a liar, you can't count to 2, that's why the coupon didn't make sense to you, and you smell. 

So, I'm not pissed about Mrs. Alice Cooper not taking the coupon. 
What is the 1st rule that you learn in retail? 
THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!!! 
Apparently you don't learn that behind the computer training program at Walmart.
I wasn't yelling, screaming, or being irrational.  I had 2 sticks of deodorant and the coupon called for 2.  What was the problem?  Right Guard wasn't going to give a crap as long as the coupon wasn't expired.  Just key in the stupid coupon, tell me I can't do it again and let's all be on our merry little way.  Instead, I will never shop at TattoovilleWalmart again and I left my entire purchase at the register that day to show them that I wouldn't stand for their tatoo lingo crap.
I HATE WALMART AKA THE TATOO PARLOR!!
This makes 2 places on my do not shop list.
Target - As you'll remember, their holiday prices are ridiculous.  I'm pretty sure there was an 80% markup on most of their candy, so that they can sell it at 75% the day after the holiday and still make money.  Those crooks
Walmart - For just plain sucking, and making sure that the face of their business is a living memorial to Popeye with the forarm tatoo.

The 4 Pizzas!

Sometimes life just tosses you a bone.  I had a GRRRRRR8 dinner this past Sunday.  Jill and I went to go eat over Meghan and Frank's house.  We were treated to 4 pizzas and I'm not talking Domi-hoe's.  These were homemade pizzas on the grill and my favorite was all of them.  Let me try to remember all 4.  We had Pesto (I think), BBQ chicken, pepperoni.  The first pizza was gone so quickly that I cannot for the life of me remember what it was.  We absolutely devoured it. 
Kevin and Kristen made a really great dessert as well.  It was like Strawberry Shortcake with Ice Cream!  Yum!
That reminds me of the infamous Chili incident.

When I was about 8 or 9, we used to go over my grandma's house every day after school.  She would watch us while my mom worked.  One day, grandma told us that we would be having Strawberry Shortcake for dessert.  My favorite at the time!!!!  The only reason it isn't now, is because every sweet is tied for first.  It's amazing I'm not 500 pounds.
Anyway, for every pot of gold, there is a trap door.  The meal for the day was Chili, which up until that point I had no opinion on.
Grandma sat down my sister and I and we both tried the Chili and hated it.  It was the worst food to touch my taste buds.  I think I threw up in my mouth on multiple occasions. 
We protested to Grandma that the Chili was awful, risking having our mouth washed out with soap.  I'm not sure that she would have, but it seems to add good drama to the story.
Grandma was having none of it.  She said that if we wanted Strawberry Shortcake, then we would have to eat all of the Chili.  My sister was like, no problem, pushed the bowl away and went to play.  I LOOOOOVED Strawberry Shortcake, so I suffered through the Chili, bite after miserable bite.  It must have taken me over an hour to eat that one bowl.  My mouth was burning, my eyes watering and my taste buds were disgusted.
I got my Strawberry Shortcake, which tasted like heaven after eating the worst Chili ever.

Epilogue -
Years later, Grandma told me that she tried the Chili while I was eating and thought it was the worst thing she ever tried also.  I was like, "Grandma, if the Chili was so bad why did you make me eat the entire thing?"  Grandma's reasoning was that if I was willing to eat the entire dish to get dessert, then she didn't want to reward my sister who had not slaved through this madness with dessert. 
First of all, let me define willing.  I was not willing.  I only kept at it because I wanted that darn dessert. 
Second of all, I didn't give a rip whether or not my sister had suffered. 
Third of all, I will never touch a bowl of chili ever again.  Years ago, we had a Chili-Off at work, where everyone made a pot of chili and we tried them all to see whose was the best.  I skipped the whole ordeal and went out for McDonald's.  I was the only individual to do so.  Now that's some sweet action.

Building Savings

Because of some lifestyle changes, we have been forced to rethink the way we spend money.  Here are some things that we have done that have paid off.  We've become pretty fanatical about saving money.

1.  We changed out all of our incandescent light bulbs in the house to florescent bulbs.  Apparently, the savings is supposed to be dramatic.  The main reason I wanted to make the change is because they say you'll be able to rely on the bulb for about 8-10 years before you have to change them out.  That alone is great!
2.  We recently read a book by "America's Cheapest Family", in which they suggested that you set a montly grocery budget and go shopping once a month.  This has saved us so much money.  We start off by planning our meals for the month, and then we buy everything in one trip.  If we find something that is a terrific deal, then we try to load up on it so that we're not forced to buy something at regular price because we're out.  This requires a lot of planning, but it saves us so much money in the long run!
3.  Patience!  Over the past year, we've gotten so many things for free, or deeply discounted, simply because we don't buy at the first impulse.  Earlier in life, that was the thing that got us into trouble.  Over the past year, we had earmarked several things that we wanted and by being patient, we got them for free.  For example, we wanted to get lounge chairs for our new patio in the backyard.  In looking for these, we noticed that even the cheapest ones were about $40-50 per chair.  Well, we were not about to spend $80-100 on a set of chairs, so we waited to see how much they would go on sale at the end of the season.  The answer was that they didn't go on sale very much.  I believe the discount was about 10-25%, which was not significant enough for us to make the purchase.  So we didn't buy them.  A few months later, my parents, who knew that we were looking told me that they had gone to a garage sale across the street and in searching for various items, were told that they could have 2 lounge chairs and an umbrella as a throw in.  My dad asked if I wanted the chairs, which were brand new, with the tags still on them, and I accepted. 
Using this philosophy, we each got Blackberry phones for free, a grill for $200 less than normal sale retail, an office chair for free, a comforter set for $35 - This one I'm especially proud of, because when we were looking, everyone was saying that you couldn't find a good set for less than $80.  I actually found a nice one that I was interested in for $49 and was about to make the purchase but they were out of stock.  In looking for some other items, I found a similar one for $35.  I could have bought 2 of them for the price that I was told was the drop dead bottom price.  My advice here would be to make a list of things you'd like and then hold out until you can get them for bargin basement prices or even better, for free!
4.  I learned this one from reading one of Donald Trump's books.  Buy store brands of products instead of name brand products.  In most cases, they are exactly the same.  The difference is that the store is able to buy their own products at a much lower cost than the store brands, so they can achieve the same markup by retailing the store brand at a much lower price.  Some things you don't want to cut corners on, but no matter the brand, asprin is asprin, regardless of who's name is on the bottle.
5.  Lastly, you have to pay yourself first.  If all you're ever doing is paying down debt, then you will lose your resolve and fall deeper into debt.  If you take your pay and allocate a certain amount to yourself everyday, ideally to establish a savings build, then you will be more motivated to get out of debt.  I believe that the recommended starting point is to try to pay yourself $10 a day.  That turns into $300 a month on average.  If you can't do $10, then start with a more modest amount, but whatever you start with, stick to it.  You'll be surprised how quickly it can add up.  Plus, should you run into an emergency, this money will help you avoid running yourself deeper into debt.

Pizza Pizza

Everyone has a favorite pizza place.  Pretty much, if you decide that your favorite is Domino's, Papa Johns, or Pizza Hut, then you haven't tried real pizza. 
The best that I ever had was the Jason Ward special at Jaco's.  When I was little, we always ordered the party tray, which was kind of odd, because we never had parties.  It was so good though!  We would eat it for days.  The pizza had the best cheese and spices.  I miss that ever since I moved, because there are barely any places here that have good pizza.    I remember that my sister loved Buzzy's.  I never tried that, but heard that it was really good.  When I went to Bona's, there was S&G pizza, near campus.  We nicknamed them Sloppy and Greasy pizza because their food was probably the most unhealthy you could consume, but who cares when you're in college, right?

The funniest thing from my years in college is my obsession with animal crackers.  I used to buy those big bags from Walmart.  They were ridiculously inexpensive.  Full disclosure, I am one of the biggest germ-a-phobes that I know.  When I was in college, for some reason, I was obsessed with the ratio of elephants to cats.  The elephants are, by far, the best animal cracker because they are much bigger than any other.  The cat by comparison is like half the size.  If you look at the cat, you'll notice how obnoxious it is with that stupid curled tail.  So I decided that one day I was going to open up a bag and count the disparity between L.E.Phants and Fat Cats.  To do this, I opened the bag and dumped them all over the floor and sorted them into carefully separated piles.  Once finished, I would eat as many as I could fit into my mouth.  The mere thought of this digusts me.  In my own home, I would not eat anything off the floor.  But off the decades old rug in my dorm room, it was perfectly fine.  Ugh!  What was I thinking?  I suppose what you don't know doesn't hurt you.

Car Accident

Today, I was driving home and I saw a teenager, probably 16 or 17 run into the back of a middle aged guy's SUV.  The teen's hood looked like an accordian and the Guy was letting the Explitives fly!  It didn't look like there was too much damage to the Guy's car.  To make matter's worse, as the guy was screaming for the kid's insurance information, I heard a meek voice say that it was his dad's car.  Uh boy!
Well, the insurance companies will sort all of this out and then they'll be good to go. 

Several years ago, I was driving to St. Bonaventure and got into a car accident and I wasn't as fortunate.  I was dating a girl who was pretty needy and I decided to drive down after work one night to go see her.  The drive was about 2 hours.  I left work at about 10:30.  I was about 30 minutes outside of campus, when the snow started to pick up.  I came around a bend in the road and my car fishtailed and then rolled backward into a ditch.  I was wedged in and could not get out.  The worst part about the accident was that the snow was picking up and there weren't any houses or cars for as far as the eye could see.  I was in the middle of nowhere.  Blair Witch looked populated compared to where I crashed. 

After knocking on a farm house door with no answer, a car happened down the road.  In retrospect, it probably was a good thing that no one answered the door at the farm house, because I'm pretty sure they were backwoods kind of people and were not going to take kindly to someone knocking on their door after midnight. 

The car drove past me.  At this point, I'm thinking that I could be on this road for a long time.  It's important to note that this was before the time of cell phones.  Suddenly, another car was coming towards me, slowly.  This car stopped and offerred me a ride.  Funny thing was that it was the same car that passed me earlier, but they saw my car in the ditch and realized that I wasn't a weirdo.  They gave me a ride to campus, but as we pulled in to the parking lot, they revealed that they were both drunk.  Which is worse?  On one hand, I could be stranded in the middle of nowhere, with no help apparent, or I could be in a car, on snowy roads, with 2 drunks.  Thankfully, I made it to campus safe and sound.  I ended up living in my girl friend's dorm room for the next week while my car was being worked on.  I basically had no money at this point, so it was basically a patch job.  My radiator was cracked and the car was completely undrivable.  Eventually, the car was fixed and I was able to drive back home, but it was a harrowing experience.

As a funny epilogue, I lost my front license plate in the shuffle and couldn't find it.  Months later, after the snow had melted, I was driving down the same road and saw my license plate sitting on top of the ditch on the side of the road. 

Wasting Time

There have been so many changes to technology in recent years.  Often times, I talk about when I was a senior at St. Bonaventure and we used something called "telenetting" to chat with people.  It was the precursor to Instant Messenging as we know it today. 
It appeared on a screen that looked like DOS.  Once you got into a chat room, there was a list of 20-25 people with their screen name, location, server, and your "doing".  Your doing was a sentence that would tell others what you were doing.  Not too complicated by any stretch of the imagination.  Every chat room had a sysop that you could chat with or could monitor users.  Often times, their "doing" read "working....may not answer".  One day, a friend that I used to chat with created a doing that read "answering....may not work".  Without graphics or images, you had to work to be clever.  My name was Bedrocks after the old club in WNY named the Bedrocks Cafe.  I never went, but adopted the name because so many of my friends went and I was living vicariously through them.  I know, I know, that's one of the lamest reasons to create a name ever.  I lived a sheltered life growing up, what can I say.  Come to find out years later that it really was a dive.  The name lives on though.  Most people try to conjure up some joke about me and the Flintstones, as if I haven't heard them all.
Now onto the point of why I'm really writing today.  I joined facebook about a year or two ago, not understanding how to navigate it at all.  My goal was to get more legit friends than Jill.  This isn't like those people who become friends with everyone regardless of if they even know the person. 
Ok, time for another lame story. 

When I was a sophomore in high school, I thought that it would be really cool to get 100 people to sign my yearbook.  I did, but now looking back on that, many people I barely knew and I wonder why this was so important to me.  The high school I went to was really cool.  I thought it was the best in the area.  Unfortunately, a few years after I graduated, the school board decided that it couldn't maintain 2 high schools in the same city, so they tore mine down.  That was really disappointing to me.  I really couldn't believe it.  This was the school where my classmates marched in the middle of the street to city hall to get a traffic light in front of our school after Michelle Thurman was hit by a car.  Funny thing, the light is still there, even though the school isn't.  I hope that light stands forever so that Michelle didn't die in vain.  This was the school with an auto shop, horticulture department and the coolest courtyard in the city.  I still don't understand why students were barely ever allowed out there.  I won't drive by the site if I'm back in the city.  I can't bare to look at what they did to the place where I spent 4 of the most important years of my life.  I believe that there is a Walmart there now.  I guess it's true when they say Walmart is taking over the world.  They took a great school, great teachers, and a great community.  I suppose it was going to happen eventually, but the fact that it was torn down so shortly after I left makes me wonder about the students who attended the new school and thought it was shiny, new, and great.  Maybe, but it wasn't anything close to my school.

I really have gotten off the beaten path.  Back to my FB story.  Once I got more friends than Jill, I realized that all of my friends were similar to me.  Every now and again, they posted something interesting on their Wall.  Sometimes they posted Farmville, Mafia Wars, or some other gaming update.  But other than an isolated conversation, it really was only a window into the lives of people I know in some way.  I don't know how many people I'll keep in touch with, but I hope to have deep and meaningful friendships, rather than a glance through a window into their lives where I look in and wish I was cool enough to really hang.  Well, I know that I'm cool enough but for most of my friends in order to hang, it would involve a car ride that I can't make in a matter of minutes, but rather hours. 

Stay Classy Facebook!