The Vacuum Cleaner isn't the only thing that sucks

One of the charities at St. Bonaventure was MCMM, which stood for Merry Christmas Meloday Marathon or something to that effect.  During this time, the students on campus would do various things in order to raise money for the kids in the local town.  To my knowledge, this was only in effect during my freshman year.  Of the things that you could do is kidnap someone and bring them to the ransom room, where they would have to call friends of theirs to try to raise bail money.
So, one day during this time, I have a final exam during the evening hours for my Biology class.  After returning back to my dorm room following this test, I began talking to my roommate about going to dinner at the dining hall.  A few of my friends showed up and they wanted to go as well.  We talked for a few minutes when I realized that they were all crowding in a circle around me.  Instantly, I ran out of the room and down the hall to the back stairwell.
Upon reaching the stairwell, I could hear all of my friends yelling about bringing me to the ransom room.  I ran faster than I knew how.  Upon arriving at the stairwell, I jumped down to each landing, easily clearing 6-7 steps in a single bound.  I did this for 6 flights of stairs and then thrusted out the back door.  My roommates were mostly large fellows who spent more time eating and drinking than anything else, so they were significantly out of shape and could not keep up with me.  Even still, I ran as quickly as I could and did not turn around to see how close they were.  Knowing that I could not keep this pace up for long, I ducked into the dorm room near the infirmary, where I was a regular visitor during my freshman year.  The nurse ran out and saw me panicked and nearly out of breath.  I told her that my friends were chasing me and that I had to get away from them.  At first she paused, looking at me as if there was no way she would help me.  Then she calmly asked where I was going.  I pointed to a building (Dev Hall) that was back in the direction I just came from.  She pointed to a hallway and instructed me to go hide.  Just then I heard the sound of a herd of thundering elephants.  Wow!  I couldn't believe that they were still on my tail.  The nurse asked "Are you guys looking for that MCMM boy?"  They yelled "Yeah!", as if they were just in time for the free ice cream at school.  "I just sent him down to Francis.  Go through that door!  Go get that MCMM boy!  Go Get'm!", she yelled.  A raucous laughter ensued as I heard my friends barrel out of the sick bay and into the night in the complete opposite direction of where I was headed.  I thanked the nurse and headed back towards Dev.
My cousin was also a student there at the time, so I walked down to his room, where the door was cracked open.  I poked my head through the crack, but the room was completely empty.  Not wanting to invade the privacy of my cousin and his roommates, at least any more so than I already had, I turned and walked away.  There was no way they'd find me up on the 4th floor of Dev.  I'm pretty sure they didn't even know that I was friends with anyone in this dorm.  So, I walked down the hall and sat in the 4th floor lounge.  There were several couches and the room was empty.  I sat down and tried to sleep on one of the couches, but they were more like loveseats and the ends were wooden with no pillows.  Needless to say, they weren't very comfortable.  As I sat on the couch, I listened carefully for my friends.  Any time I heard a noise I worried that they might have found me.  I knew that I had bought myself some time because the walk to Francis was really long and I'd imagine that the walk back was even longer.  Eventually, I'd have to go back to my dorm, but maybe if I spent the night here, then I could go back in the morning and all would be forgotten and laughed off.
After spending a couple of uncomfortable, paranoid hours in the lounge, I decided to go over to Fal Hall, where my friend, Mike, lived.  As soon as I got there, he warned me that my friends had already been there to look for me.  I didn't think they would come back so I asked him if I could stay and sleep on the floor.  He agreed and I fell asleep right away.  After about an hour there was a knock at the door.  I whispered to Mike not to answer, but he did and it was my friends.  They plowed through the door like a Bull through the red cape.  They grabbed me and duct taped my wrists, ankles, and mouth.  Before long, I found myself being lifted in the air and carried to the ransom room.  It was a crazy night, but at least once this was finished I could fall asleep in my own bed.

Cancer is no joke!

A couple of weeks ago I was at the Dodger game, while in LA.  I had heard that the crowd was somewhat apathetic, but I found out exactly what they meant while visiting.  I was sitting next to a girl, who was approximately in her middle teens and during the game she was reading a Harry Potter book, which was written in Mandarin.  That takes Potter to a whole new level.

I'm looking around at our walls while I type this and they are just disgusting.  There are marks and splotches everywhere.  Ugh.  I hate painting, but I think it's going to become necessary before too much longer.  I remember when I moved to my first apartment I decided to paint the bathroom "Jets Green".  It turned out pretty good, but for years after that I found paint everywhere.  On one occasion, I remember talking to a friend on the phone while painting and when I was finished with my call, the cord being green and white speckled.

I wonder if Broccoli really kills cancer.  If that's true, why doesn't everyone eat broccoli like it's going out of style?  I just saw a story on the news about the weather person having a noncancerous tumor on her brain.  She's probably a few years younger than I am, so obviously that's pretty scary.  Maybe she doesn't care for broccoli.  Interestingly enough, scientists are coming up with a cure for cancer and I believe it's only a few years away.  I hear that the cure doesn't have anything to do with broccoli or any other vegetable for that matter, so maybe I should forward this blog onto them and see if they can get patients on a broccoli I.V. 

So you want to have a fantasy football team

Don't we all.  Here are some tips to create the team that will bring home the cash, or bragging rights, depending on how you're playing.

Step 1 - Create a cool name
Simply put, this takes creativity and talent.  I'm sorry, but something you read off an internet website is lame.  You might have thought it was funny, but really?  Is that the best that you can do?  Think about player names, or team names, and combine them with something else to create a funny name.  For example, as a Jets fan my default name is Gang Green.  Not too creative, but with a couple of tweaks, it could be Gang Green Eggs and Ham, Gang Green Acres, Gaggle of Green Maggots, etc.  Fan of the Raiders?  Da Rai-Durs, We almost have a normal IQ, CSI Dumb and Dumber Unit, Alcatraz Raiders, etc.

Step 2 - Create a cool logo
This is an interesting one, because fans complain all the time about the logo or jersey of teams.  You would think that team owners would pay a lot or attention to this, but they don't.  A fantasy team is only as strong as it's logo, so if you choose something weak, or use the default logo, then you are letting the fan base down.

Step 3 - Decide on a draft strategy
The people who go into a draft thinking that they will just follow the top 200 list or some other top player listing are doomed for failure.  Those lists are created very generally without consideration towards individual league scoring systems or any natural biases that may occur.  For example, over the previous few seasons one of the better performers may have loaded up against poor teams, while struggling against good teams.  I would avoid drafting this player in favor of someone more reliable.

One idea is to look for a player who has a considerable advantage over other players at his position.  Most people will start off selecting the best runningback, but if there is a difference making Quarterback who is 5 points better than any other at his position, then it might be better to spend a pick there.  Runningbacks almost never last an entire season, so there is always an opportunity to pick up a back up.  QB's are tougher positions.  With all of the rules to protect a QB, they aren't getting injured as often.  Last year, I was having problems logging into a league draft and by the time I was able to get through the filters my QB was already drafted on Autopick.  I ended up with Matt Cassel.  Ugh!  I spent the remainder of the season mixing and matching to try and get a decent QB and it wasn't until the second half of the season when Vince Young took over for Kerry Collins that I was able to get a desirable replacement.  On the other hand, the year before I had Tony Romo as my QB who delivered consistent numbers and was able to pick up Steve Slaton, Mewelde Moore and a host of others who delivered for a week here and there.  I ended up winning the championship that year.