I'm pretty much full of the one liners tonight.
In response to my poor cell phone signal:
"What would you like me to do, go outside and climb the bleepin' cell phone tower?"
In response to being pressured to have kids:
"Don't get me wrong, kids are great, but having one is like preparing for a nuclear blast, you have to brace yourself and prepare for impact."
So, the grocery store trip was a wild success. We spent $120 and saved $95. We got our huge turkey. Seriously, it was ridiculous. We got a turkey that was over 22 lbs. and we paid $8 for it.
So, the conversation goes like this.
Person A
"I need you to do 'X' for me"
Person B
"Ok, that's great, it says here that I need to input the data provided from person A. What would you like me to use?"
Person A
"I don't know. I haven't decided on the data yet but I need 'X' done immediately."
Am I missing something here?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Grocery Time....Cha Ching
Ok, so we love going to Bi-Lo. I know that it's pretty much the Rich Man's Food Lion, but I'm ok with that until I start noticing Food Lion tags on things and then I'm outtie. This week though, The B-Lo has turkeys for 39 cents a pound. My wife is practically frothing at the mouth about this. She nearly knocked me to the ground to get to the Ad.
I couldn't tell you what else is in that Ad, because my wife was so excited about the friggin' turkey. It is so inexpensive, I told her that we should buy a big huge one and freeze whatever we don't eat that day. (The cooked, but uneaten portion) I don't think that we could get a better deal than 20 pounds of turkey for 7 bucks or whatever.
I'm all about trying to save a few bucks, so we'll see how this goes. If I blog in a few weeks from the hospital, the dots shouldn't be too hard to connect.
So, onto other matters. Next week, there will be some remodeling done in my basement. My dad and I are going to frame out a wall and build some shelves so that I don't have to put everything on the floor in our store room.
Well, I'm sure that you all are excited here on the eve of the Venezuelan Feast of the Virgen de Chiquinquirá, because frankly, who isn't? While I know that this observance gets lost in the shuffle of Shogi day, it still is a prominent celebration in the Leardini household. It's been a tough celebration to maintain, however, because we don't want it to infringe upon our gala celebration of International Toilet Day, which will be celebrated this year on Thursday. And who could think of a celebration that isn't more worthy? I believe that we'll be able to squeeze them all in this week. It's always a party to go in the Leardini Household. HOLLA!
I couldn't tell you what else is in that Ad, because my wife was so excited about the friggin' turkey. It is so inexpensive, I told her that we should buy a big huge one and freeze whatever we don't eat that day. (The cooked, but uneaten portion) I don't think that we could get a better deal than 20 pounds of turkey for 7 bucks or whatever.
I'm all about trying to save a few bucks, so we'll see how this goes. If I blog in a few weeks from the hospital, the dots shouldn't be too hard to connect.
So, onto other matters. Next week, there will be some remodeling done in my basement. My dad and I are going to frame out a wall and build some shelves so that I don't have to put everything on the floor in our store room.
Well, I'm sure that you all are excited here on the eve of the Venezuelan Feast of the Virgen de Chiquinquirá, because frankly, who isn't? While I know that this observance gets lost in the shuffle of Shogi day, it still is a prominent celebration in the Leardini household. It's been a tough celebration to maintain, however, because we don't want it to infringe upon our gala celebration of International Toilet Day, which will be celebrated this year on Thursday. And who could think of a celebration that isn't more worthy? I believe that we'll be able to squeeze them all in this week. It's always a party to go in the Leardini Household. HOLLA!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Can you tell me how to get?
In honor of this being the 40th anniversary of Sesame Street, I thought I'd share a favorite passage from "Bigfoot's Memoirs". This is hilarious! The gramatical errors are intentional, by the way.
Excerpt from Me Write Book, by Graham Roumieu...
When first start out audition for a lot of roles. Agent at time think I suited for children program because I furry and talk simple. Go in try out for role on new show for public television but get beat out by giant yellow bird. Also try out for role of him friend but beat out by freaky elephant. Get angry and throw chair across set, hit this talentless green guy who also no get lead role. Turn out I break him back with chair and make him paralyze. He try sue network. He get miserable from not walk and start live in garbage can. Network offer him role as settlement for lawsuit. I try to get role as garbage man who carry him around but he just scream in terror and hid in can when I around. So unprofessional.
So, one of the biggest drains on our finances seems to be eating. Whether it's going out to eat, picking up things at the grocery store, or the like, more than half of our money goes to these places. Have you ever gone grocery shopping and then gone back within a period of time to "pick up a couple of things"? Pretty much, any time that we do that, we walk out spending at least 20-25 dollars. I read a book that has helped me with a philosophy on this. We try to go to the grocery store once a month. During this one trip, we get everything that we'll need for an entire month. If there are extra things that we need, like milk, we buy extra and freeze it. For fruits and vegetables, we determine what the shelf life is of each item and then eat accordingly. For example, bananas usually last about a week, grapes about 2-3 weeks, oranges about 3 weeks, and apples about 3-4 weeks. So, when we're eating, we go for the bananas first, and then make our way through the fruit, saving the apples for last. The main thing is that we stay within our set amount by making only one trip. When we first started doing this, we brought cash, a calculator, a note pad, and the ad. If we went over the cash that we had, then we had to put something back. It was a good way for us to prioritize what we wanted to buy.
Going out to eat is another story. I think that this is how we overextend ourselves more often. Especially with the popularity of using a credit card, it becomes easy to go out to eat because you don't have to be accountable until the end of the month. It's really easy for everything to add up. One thing we're going to try is to have cash for when we go out to eat. That way, we're having to phsically take out the money. This helps us in another aspect that we're concerned with. The whole idea of someone taking our credit card away from us to swipe it makes us a little leary. It's become common place to trust the server that is taking your card from you, but how do you know that this person isn't a druggie, or in need of finding ways to pay their bills. It wouldn't take much for them to write down the personal information of your card, google your address, and then charge everything under the sun online. Paying with cash takes all of these variables out of the equation.
Just last night, for example, I went to get some dessert at Applebees. The girl, I'll call her Stephanie, was busy when we were seated, so the manager came and took our order. Like, I said, we just ordered dessert, so there wasn't a whole lot to remember. Stephanie came by and apologized for the taking of our order taking so long. After a reasonable amount of time we got our dessert. It was really good. After some time, I began to look around for Stephanie for our check. Another server came over and mentioned that I appeared to be looking for someone. I explained that I needed my check. This server approached Stephanie and asked for our check. In clear earshot, Stephanie defiantly exclaimed, "I didn't even take their order." Well, 'preciate it, Stephanie. When we finally received the check, it had her name on it. Acknowledging the fact that Stephanie did nothing for us, I left her a 0.00 tip on my credit card. I couldn't help but think afterwards though that if she got pissed at us, then she had my credit card information to alter the bill in her favor. This is what prompted me to think more carefully about not paying with my credit card in the future at restaurants.
This blog was brought to you by the letter E.
Excerpt from Me Write Book, by Graham Roumieu...
When first start out audition for a lot of roles. Agent at time think I suited for children program because I furry and talk simple. Go in try out for role on new show for public television but get beat out by giant yellow bird. Also try out for role of him friend but beat out by freaky elephant. Get angry and throw chair across set, hit this talentless green guy who also no get lead role. Turn out I break him back with chair and make him paralyze. He try sue network. He get miserable from not walk and start live in garbage can. Network offer him role as settlement for lawsuit. I try to get role as garbage man who carry him around but he just scream in terror and hid in can when I around. So unprofessional.
So, one of the biggest drains on our finances seems to be eating. Whether it's going out to eat, picking up things at the grocery store, or the like, more than half of our money goes to these places. Have you ever gone grocery shopping and then gone back within a period of time to "pick up a couple of things"? Pretty much, any time that we do that, we walk out spending at least 20-25 dollars. I read a book that has helped me with a philosophy on this. We try to go to the grocery store once a month. During this one trip, we get everything that we'll need for an entire month. If there are extra things that we need, like milk, we buy extra and freeze it. For fruits and vegetables, we determine what the shelf life is of each item and then eat accordingly. For example, bananas usually last about a week, grapes about 2-3 weeks, oranges about 3 weeks, and apples about 3-4 weeks. So, when we're eating, we go for the bananas first, and then make our way through the fruit, saving the apples for last. The main thing is that we stay within our set amount by making only one trip. When we first started doing this, we brought cash, a calculator, a note pad, and the ad. If we went over the cash that we had, then we had to put something back. It was a good way for us to prioritize what we wanted to buy.
Going out to eat is another story. I think that this is how we overextend ourselves more often. Especially with the popularity of using a credit card, it becomes easy to go out to eat because you don't have to be accountable until the end of the month. It's really easy for everything to add up. One thing we're going to try is to have cash for when we go out to eat. That way, we're having to phsically take out the money. This helps us in another aspect that we're concerned with. The whole idea of someone taking our credit card away from us to swipe it makes us a little leary. It's become common place to trust the server that is taking your card from you, but how do you know that this person isn't a druggie, or in need of finding ways to pay their bills. It wouldn't take much for them to write down the personal information of your card, google your address, and then charge everything under the sun online. Paying with cash takes all of these variables out of the equation.
Just last night, for example, I went to get some dessert at Applebees. The girl, I'll call her Stephanie, was busy when we were seated, so the manager came and took our order. Like, I said, we just ordered dessert, so there wasn't a whole lot to remember. Stephanie came by and apologized for the taking of our order taking so long. After a reasonable amount of time we got our dessert. It was really good. After some time, I began to look around for Stephanie for our check. Another server came over and mentioned that I appeared to be looking for someone. I explained that I needed my check. This server approached Stephanie and asked for our check. In clear earshot, Stephanie defiantly exclaimed, "I didn't even take their order." Well, 'preciate it, Stephanie. When we finally received the check, it had her name on it. Acknowledging the fact that Stephanie did nothing for us, I left her a 0.00 tip on my credit card. I couldn't help but think afterwards though that if she got pissed at us, then she had my credit card information to alter the bill in her favor. This is what prompted me to think more carefully about not paying with my credit card in the future at restaurants.
This blog was brought to you by the letter E.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Bedroom Thrashing Post Mort.
Day One of the new bedroom setup is much better than the carnage of yesterday. Sammie has returned to the friendly confines of her crate. The blankets and comforters in her crate look like no one has even slept in them. How crazy is that?
Well, at the very least, we don't have to worry about coming home to a Winter Wonderland of cotton and stuffing all over the place.
So, I told Jill that I want Upside Down Flint Rubble Bubble Cake for Thanksgiving. I'm pretty sure she's sorry that she asked what I wanted for dessert. She's like that cake doesn't even exist. I'm pretty sure in this day and age, some moron has created a recipe for this cake.
This weekend will be a lot of fun. Jill and S.Diddy are going to see Star Trek in concert at Bobcats arena. They are so excited. Nichole and I could care less about this.
On another note, time to break out the bubbly! The Yankees won their 27th championship last night, winning 7-3 over the Phillies. By the end, Jill was cracking jokes, so that should tell you how bad of a game it was. I wasn't too thrilled by the end of the game. I'm really glad that they won, but the game wasn't very compelling. Not like the Jets who take every game down to the wire, mostly in the losing effort. Too bad we can't get a happy medium.
Happy Friday for Tomorrow!
News flash, Charlotte is taking credential raises away from their teachers and putting them on a pay for performance raise system. We'll see how this goes. This should weed out some of the teachers that mail it in and have been teaching the same lesson plans for the past 20 years. Personally, I don't think that this is a good idea. If you pay all of this money to go and get a Master's, then you should receive credit for that, unless it is determined that you don't deserve it otherwise. Just a thought. What do I know, though?
Well, at the very least, we don't have to worry about coming home to a Winter Wonderland of cotton and stuffing all over the place.
So, I told Jill that I want Upside Down Flint Rubble Bubble Cake for Thanksgiving. I'm pretty sure she's sorry that she asked what I wanted for dessert. She's like that cake doesn't even exist. I'm pretty sure in this day and age, some moron has created a recipe for this cake.
This weekend will be a lot of fun. Jill and S.Diddy are going to see Star Trek in concert at Bobcats arena. They are so excited. Nichole and I could care less about this.
On another note, time to break out the bubbly! The Yankees won their 27th championship last night, winning 7-3 over the Phillies. By the end, Jill was cracking jokes, so that should tell you how bad of a game it was. I wasn't too thrilled by the end of the game. I'm really glad that they won, but the game wasn't very compelling. Not like the Jets who take every game down to the wire, mostly in the losing effort. Too bad we can't get a happy medium.
Happy Friday for Tomorrow!
News flash, Charlotte is taking credential raises away from their teachers and putting them on a pay for performance raise system. We'll see how this goes. This should weed out some of the teachers that mail it in and have been teaching the same lesson plans for the past 20 years. Personally, I don't think that this is a good idea. If you pay all of this money to go and get a Master's, then you should receive credit for that, unless it is determined that you don't deserve it otherwise. Just a thought. What do I know, though?
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Destruction
Ok, pictures to come...
The untimely death of our beloved pillow was not an isolated hate crime. Instead, today, our once placid bedroom is now a path of destruction and carnage. Our bedspread, forever warm and comforting, is now best served as a window, or basis for how paper mache is made. Jill's Phillies hat, similar to that of many Phillie fans after this evening is now defaced and worthy of nothing short of the garbage. You know how IRA companies send out their perspectus every so often? Well, I would near to be Inspector Clouseau in order to read the latest version. In all seriousness I would have better luck finding Waldo in our bedroom rather than being able to piece that little envelope chock full of sunshine together.
When you see the pictures, some clarity will be brought to the situation. More to come.
15 minutes later....
Here are the pics.. bear in mind, that this was formerly an immaculate tranquil scene. Image your reaction to this shit.
The untimely death of our beloved pillow was not an isolated hate crime. Instead, today, our once placid bedroom is now a path of destruction and carnage. Our bedspread, forever warm and comforting, is now best served as a window, or basis for how paper mache is made. Jill's Phillies hat, similar to that of many Phillie fans after this evening is now defaced and worthy of nothing short of the garbage. You know how IRA companies send out their perspectus every so often? Well, I would near to be Inspector Clouseau in order to read the latest version. In all seriousness I would have better luck finding Waldo in our bedroom rather than being able to piece that little envelope chock full of sunshine together.
When you see the pictures, some clarity will be brought to the situation. More to come.
15 minutes later....
Here are the pics.. bear in mind, that this was formerly an immaculate tranquil scene. Image your reaction to this shit.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Ode on a hardwood floor
Hi everyone!
My name is blue striped pillow. I lived at Target for a few months before this really sweet yellow-haired person came by and bought me. Not sure about the bald guy she was with, but he came to my new home too, so I'm pretty sure he's nice. I lived on this wonderful new bed in this really clean house now instead of on these dusty old shelves. The pretty yellow-haired lady even bought 2 of my brothers to sit on the bed next to me.
One day, the crazy bald headed man ripped the tag off of my butt. That hurt like a mutha, but the tag was itchy and annoying. Unfortunately, there was a small hole left where the tag used to exist. I suppose it was real refreshing to have all of this fresh air inside of me now like never before. So there I sat on the bed everyday for about 4 years, happy as I could be.
The bald guy and pretty lady brought up a black furry animal one day that was really cute. Well the furry animal started laying on me after awhile. I was happy to provide comfort to the animal, although I thought it was a little unusual because every now and again I would end up getting tossed aside. Then last week, the bald guy and pretty lady left the house for several hours and left the furry animal to lay on me. The first few times were a lot of fun. Yesterday, the furry animal poked it's nose inside of my hole. It tickled at first, but I quickly forgot about it. Today, the furry animal was playing a little on the rough side with me. It's nose was poked inside my hole again and it tickled until it's teeth started ripping my cloth covering off. Before long I was shredded into about 17 pieces and all of my cottonie insides were thrown all over the bedroom. I am now laying on the beautiful hard wood floor. The pretty yellow-haired lady was very nice. She pushed all of my insides up into a pile. I feel like my whole pillow body has been ravaged by a wildebeast. Right now, there isn't much left of me. I feel like I'm about to go to that big bed up in the sky.....
I sure did love that pretty yellow-haired lady! The bald guy was ok too....
My name is blue striped pillow. I lived at Target for a few months before this really sweet yellow-haired person came by and bought me. Not sure about the bald guy she was with, but he came to my new home too, so I'm pretty sure he's nice. I lived on this wonderful new bed in this really clean house now instead of on these dusty old shelves. The pretty yellow-haired lady even bought 2 of my brothers to sit on the bed next to me.
One day, the crazy bald headed man ripped the tag off of my butt. That hurt like a mutha, but the tag was itchy and annoying. Unfortunately, there was a small hole left where the tag used to exist. I suppose it was real refreshing to have all of this fresh air inside of me now like never before. So there I sat on the bed everyday for about 4 years, happy as I could be.
The bald guy and pretty lady brought up a black furry animal one day that was really cute. Well the furry animal started laying on me after awhile. I was happy to provide comfort to the animal, although I thought it was a little unusual because every now and again I would end up getting tossed aside. Then last week, the bald guy and pretty lady left the house for several hours and left the furry animal to lay on me. The first few times were a lot of fun. Yesterday, the furry animal poked it's nose inside of my hole. It tickled at first, but I quickly forgot about it. Today, the furry animal was playing a little on the rough side with me. It's nose was poked inside my hole again and it tickled until it's teeth started ripping my cloth covering off. Before long I was shredded into about 17 pieces and all of my cottonie insides were thrown all over the bedroom. I am now laying on the beautiful hard wood floor. The pretty yellow-haired lady was very nice. She pushed all of my insides up into a pile. I feel like my whole pillow body has been ravaged by a wildebeast. Right now, there isn't much left of me. I feel like I'm about to go to that big bed up in the sky.....
I sure did love that pretty yellow-haired lady! The bald guy was ok too....
Monday, November 2, 2009
Fall
I'm not sure that I like Fall as a season, although there are certain things that I enjoy about it.
1. Many of the best holidays occur in the Fall. I think, other than Christmas, many people think that Halloween is one of the best holidays. Most people enjoy Thanksgiving also. Christmas just misses by a couple of days. If you'd like to refer to a previous blog, the Mexican anniversary of The Day of the Dead is also during this time. Not sure how this ranks in popularity with other Mexican holidays but it's at least popular enough to be listed on my calendar at work, and I noticed that someone called it out on facebook today.
2. The weather is much more moderate. I hate it when the temperature is either sweltering or freezing. I really wish it could be in the high 60s to high 70s all the time.
3. All of the main sports are watchable at this point. The World Series is usually pretty exciting, the NFL is pretty good, hockey and basketball are just getting started...
4. Other than raking leaves, the yard work factor goes down dramatically and is a lot less exhausting due largely to #2.
Spring is probably the best time because everyone has cabin fever and is ready to get out and have fun in the outdoors. I wonder if homeless people get cabin fever. I'm sure that they like spring because it's not freezing while they sleep. Do you think that Homeless people go south for the winter? I'm sure it's a long drive and all that, but maybe they save up the change that they beg for and buy a bus ticket south. Once they end up in Florida, then they're good to go. Ok, so now my mind is racing. Do you think that homeless people in Florida have to worry about Aligators or Crocodiles sneaking up on them while they are sleeping? I mean, if they were warding off vampires, then they could wear garlic, but, what do you do to ward off reptiles while sleeping? I may have to go to the mountain for this one.
Halloween post mortum....
So we went to Shawn and Nichole's for their Halloween gathering. It was great on 2 fronts. #1 is that I love a party. #2 is that I didn't have to sit around and wait for the 7 trick or treaters that we were bound to get. I severely doubt that we would have even gotten that many. It was pouring rain, which would have seriously limited the "crowd".
So, I got into my Michelin Man Costume, and it was pretty ridicuolus looking. On a scale 1-10 it was a 1 and a half. I first wrapped myself in bubble wrap, which was cool. Then I wrapped the bubble wrap in paper towels. Those paper towels were ripping and falling off almost from the get go. In retrospect, I should have taken white plastic bags and wrapped the bubble wrap with that and I would have looked much more credible. I came in, got the requiste laughs and stripped out of the costume almost immediately.
The rest of the night was a blast. We went bobbing for apples. My wife went under water better than Aqua Man. She had the apple in less than 10 seconds. It was uncanny. I was a little bit longer, but again not too bad. My technique was to pin the apple against the bottom of bin and then bite for all that I was worth. At least I didn't have to worry about messing up my hair.
We finished the night by watching the Yankees crush the spirit of the Phillies by coming from behind to best them in game 3 of the World Series. If all goes well, then we'll be 27 time World Champions after tonight. If not, then we'll just have to wait and win it in front of our home fans on Wednesday.
1. Many of the best holidays occur in the Fall. I think, other than Christmas, many people think that Halloween is one of the best holidays. Most people enjoy Thanksgiving also. Christmas just misses by a couple of days. If you'd like to refer to a previous blog, the Mexican anniversary of The Day of the Dead is also during this time. Not sure how this ranks in popularity with other Mexican holidays but it's at least popular enough to be listed on my calendar at work, and I noticed that someone called it out on facebook today.
2. The weather is much more moderate. I hate it when the temperature is either sweltering or freezing. I really wish it could be in the high 60s to high 70s all the time.
3. All of the main sports are watchable at this point. The World Series is usually pretty exciting, the NFL is pretty good, hockey and basketball are just getting started...
4. Other than raking leaves, the yard work factor goes down dramatically and is a lot less exhausting due largely to #2.
Spring is probably the best time because everyone has cabin fever and is ready to get out and have fun in the outdoors. I wonder if homeless people get cabin fever. I'm sure that they like spring because it's not freezing while they sleep. Do you think that Homeless people go south for the winter? I'm sure it's a long drive and all that, but maybe they save up the change that they beg for and buy a bus ticket south. Once they end up in Florida, then they're good to go. Ok, so now my mind is racing. Do you think that homeless people in Florida have to worry about Aligators or Crocodiles sneaking up on them while they are sleeping? I mean, if they were warding off vampires, then they could wear garlic, but, what do you do to ward off reptiles while sleeping? I may have to go to the mountain for this one.
Halloween post mortum....
So we went to Shawn and Nichole's for their Halloween gathering. It was great on 2 fronts. #1 is that I love a party. #2 is that I didn't have to sit around and wait for the 7 trick or treaters that we were bound to get. I severely doubt that we would have even gotten that many. It was pouring rain, which would have seriously limited the "crowd".
So, I got into my Michelin Man Costume, and it was pretty ridicuolus looking. On a scale 1-10 it was a 1 and a half. I first wrapped myself in bubble wrap, which was cool. Then I wrapped the bubble wrap in paper towels. Those paper towels were ripping and falling off almost from the get go. In retrospect, I should have taken white plastic bags and wrapped the bubble wrap with that and I would have looked much more credible. I came in, got the requiste laughs and stripped out of the costume almost immediately.
The rest of the night was a blast. We went bobbing for apples. My wife went under water better than Aqua Man. She had the apple in less than 10 seconds. It was uncanny. I was a little bit longer, but again not too bad. My technique was to pin the apple against the bottom of bin and then bite for all that I was worth. At least I didn't have to worry about messing up my hair.
We finished the night by watching the Yankees crush the spirit of the Phillies by coming from behind to best them in game 3 of the World Series. If all goes well, then we'll be 27 time World Champions after tonight. If not, then we'll just have to wait and win it in front of our home fans on Wednesday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)