Ooh Oh Diamond Boy...

Busch beer, jello wrestling, the lady with 10 cats and curiously only 1 litter box....What do these things have in common? They all involve my home school instructional experience.

I had to tutor this one boy, who I referred to as "Diamond Boy" because of similarities to his name. While unusual, the mother and father were very nice. I remember one time when the Schwann's guy came while tutoring, they asked me if I wanted anything to eat. Their freezer was totally stocked. It was amazing. That wasn't the only amazing thing about this house though. There were flies everywhere and the house smelled so bad, I swore that I was in a toxic dump. I looked up at the ceiling and there was a huge brown spot. Not too worry, this was only because the toilet was overflowing. *I think that I just threw up in my mouth now, let alone that day.*

So, one day, I arrived to tutor Diamond Boy. As I walked past the couch on the front porch, I noticed that neither mom nor dad was home. Diamond boy told me that Mom was across the street and she'd be back in a couple of minutes. We went inside and sat down. Today we were going to work on writing about Diamond Boy's favorite pet. Clearly this place smelled like at one time there may have been a pet living there, so I thought we'd have a lot to write about. Diamond boy tells me that he wants to write about his pet Eugleena. I had never heard of this pet, and told Diamond Boy that we needed to write about a real pet like a dog or cat. Diamond Boy insists that this is a real pet and goes to get the evidence. I wonder what I'm about to get myself into. He walks back into the room with this mug that is overflowing with some sort of orange substance. I'm wondering what this witch's brew is. My eyes widen to the size of melons as I cover my mouth. The smell from this mug is so pungent that my nose begins to run. Finally, we get to the point where we reveal the #1 answer on the board....

Diamond Boy tells me that Eugleena is the name of his pet Bacteria! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL! I elected to punt on the remainder of that session and left Diamond Boy to his pet bacteria. There is no way that I can make this madness up.

I can still here my friend Chris going "What's new with ooh oh Diamond Boy and his pet Bacteria?"