So you're looking for an apartment to call home for the next several months, years, etc. and you're searching through various sites on-line looking for that perfect place...
You might come across the Archstone website. After all, they have several properties in multiple states. As far as I can tell, they're one of the largest property managers across the country. This, my friends, is not meant as a form a flattery. On occasion, you might observe, that bigger is not necessarily better. In my opinion, Archstone falls under that category. They've become too big to know how their tenants like to be treated.
Sure, they will flaunt artificial numbers at you explaining how many new renters they sign up each month with their teaser rates that include $1200 in free rent for a 12-month lease, or their 30 day guarantee - which is my personal favorite. I think that a more significant statistic would be how many of their tenants they are able to convert into a second lease after the initial promotional lease expires. My guess is that this number is pretty low because people renting from Archstone realize that once the teaser rate expires their rent is going to go up $100 a month, plus the cost of living increase that occurs even when our country is in a recession. Secondly, they realize what a piece of crap they've been living in and they can now leave without having to pay the penalty of a month's rent. So, if you're unable to front an extra month of rent, then you'd better get used to breathing in moldy air, or having a shower or sink back up filth everywhere. It's a great experience - really it is - At least that's what they'd have you believe.
The Archstone 30-Day Guarantee
Let's look at this piece of work. Archstone is telling you, as a renter, that if you don't like their apartment, for any reason, you are able to leave within the first 30 days without penalty. Sounds great, doesn't it?
Then you sit back and think about what goes into your first few days in your new apartment.
1. The mental anguish and time consumption required to box up your belongings
2. The time and financial commitment required to transport your belongings
3. The frustration involved in moving your belongings into your new apartment - including unpacking.
What kind of idiot does all of this and then says, "Hey, I'm not happy with my apartment. I'd like to do #1-3 again within 30 days of the last time I did this." Answer: No one. This 30-Day Guarantee is a bunch of bullshit. No one would do this. I'm speculating here, but I believe it's safe to say that the only people that take advantage of this bogus guarantee are those that are in an absolutely deplorable situation. Either that, or they've got money/time to burn.
The Archstone Amenities
Let's talk about the heated pool, hot tub, exercise room, clubhouse, etc that was available in our particular community. There wasn't one single month that one of these units didn't have some kind of flaw requiring that they were closed or inoperable. The exercise room that is shown on the Archstone website looks like the second coming of Bally's. Then you get in there and you have 2 treadmills, a weight machine, a stationary bike, and an elliptical that are cleverly photographed against a wall mirror to intentionally make the room appear larger than the 15 foot square that it actually is. Keep in mind that at least one of these machines is perpetually inoperable.
The Archstone Shared Water Policy
One of my personal favorites is the fact that there isn't an individual meter for water/sewer, etc for each apartment. Archstone conveniently accepts the bill for the entire community and then breaks it out per apartment according to how many people live there. So, for Jill and I to live in an apartment causes us to pay $75 a month in water/sewer/trash fees, even though we use less water than people that live in a desert. Seriously, when we actually got a water bill, our use didn't even eclipse the 1000 gallon mark per month. Never mind that we moved out early and haven't used a drop of water for the past 2 months and continue to receive these asinine bills.
Needless to say, our Archstone experience was awful. Our moving truck was forced to park in BFE because, contrary to what we were told prior to move in, we were not allowed to park close to our apartment. Rather, the approved zone would work. The approved zone was located about a fourth of a mile from our front door.
We were told that if there we hung any pictures then we would have to pay to have our apartment repainted, regardless of how many holes created or whether or not we patched the holes.
We were told that, upon moving out, we would have to pay a cleaning fee for both the carpet and the apartment as a whole regardless of their state of cleanliness. They are telling us this as we are standing inside of our apartment o' filth. I'm not exaggerating. There are black marks and cuts in the linoleum, mold on the window sills, showers that back up (nothing like showering in your own filth that is up to the middle of your calves), bathroom sinks that back up, holes in the exterior door(s) that are so wide you can use them as an alternate peep hole, air filters that haven't been changed since the Carter Administration, and best of all, neighbors that let their dogs relieve themselves wherever they please - the sidewalk, the bottom of the stairs, the deck above your head. You name it.
Archstone is the WORST possible apartment that you can call home. I can't possibly put into words the smell of mold that we would wake up to every morning, or the wafer thin walls that allowed me to hear everything our neighbors were doing - seriously I could hear their cell phones vibrating, amorous activities, and bathroom activities. The people that own these apartments are in serious denial about what they are offering their renters. I would dare say that not one of them would spend a week in these horrific conditions. Yet, the perception is that they are renting out the Ritz Carlton or something.
2 thoughts....
1. Not inexpensive - certainly cheap (as in quality)
2. Popcorn ceiling and wall to wall mirrors - think about this - there's nowhere to put your furniture because of all the damn mirrored closets (although great closet space)
Bottom line - if you see the Archstone logo - run away quickly!
