No sooner do I submit the last post than I notice how incredibly hot it has gotten yesterday afternoon. Long story short - Don't cut off your nose to spite your face!
There was no way our house was cooling down last night. We could have had a fan in every window, so we broke down and turned on the AC. What a great decision! When I woke up this morning, it was warmer outside than it was in our house. Ugh! Just imagine if I had slept through that mess! The morale of the story is that once the overnight low gets to be 68 or higher in the east, there is no amount of cooling you can do with open windows because the air is as thick as pea soup.
After a few tense moments where the temperature was out of control, the house began to cool down and we were good to go. We were still able to conserve though, because we were able to turn the AC off during the day, so there was a good 8-10 hours where the AC was not running - this while it was 101 degrees today! When it cools down a little bit we will be able to run it a little less, but as I said before, no need to be penny wise and dollar foolish.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
The Grass Isn't Always Greener...wait, is that a Woodpecker?
In the "My Alarm Clock is Broken" category...
So, I'm sleeping the other morning and I hear this "waking the dead" kind of noise. No idea what it is, but it's bothering me from the remainder of my slumber. By the time I realize something has woken me up, the noise disappears and I am free to go back to sleep, except there it is again. I turn over and notice that Jill is sleeping with her face towards mine. That spells instant problem because she is a notorious mouth breather and I've now realized that she is inflicting some kind of bodily harm on my eardrums. I go to nudge the top of her head and she shrieks out, "I'M NOT SNORING! IT'S A WOODPECKER OUTSIDE AND IT'S KEPT ME UP FOR THE PAST HALF HOUR!"
I walk over to our bathroom window, which is still open despite scorching heat (More on that later), and try to look out for our friendly neighborhood woodpecker. Of course, I can't see anything. Even if I had my contacts in, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have seen anything. All of a sudden, I hear this jackhammer type noise and it sounds like it's coming from the part of the wall I'm leaning against. I do what every problem solver might do in this situation, I pound the wall. The noise goes away, and I'm left to wonder at this point whether or not this woodpecker is living in the walls of our home, or maybe the attic, or who knows where.
Did I mention that the clock reads 6:27 am at this point?
A few days go by and there is no further performances from Woody. But with the Memorial Day Weekend in full swing, he has been out with avengence. Every morning, between 6:27 and 6:47, he has come back to our home. I mentioned this to my dad and he suggested getting the hose and squirting him if I can see him from outside. While I wasn't able to do this, I did notice that he is on top of our roof pecking at our gutter (which is made of aluminum, not wood). This pecking of the gutter is making a noise that is reverberating throughout our house. I think he's either mentally challenged, or this is some rudimentary form of beak sharpening. My way to combat this over the past several mornings has been to go over and hit the wall/window and Woody flies away to another locale for the matinee performance.
Good to know that he'll continue to come around because if the power goes out, I'm not going to have to worry about the alarm clock. Woody's got me covered.
Heh, heh, heh-heh-heh.....That's all folks!
Step 1: When we wake up in the morning, we wait until 8 or 9 (basically until the sun begins to hit the front of the house) and we shut all of the windows and doors. We leave the blinds closed so that the sunlight is blocked from coming in. We have those faux wood blinds from Lowe's that are white so they let in a good amount of light even if they are closed.
Step 2: Once the indoor and outdoor temperatures begin to equalize, or once the sun stops hitting the front of the house we open everything back up. This worked until the overnight temperatures crept into the 60s. Once this happened, our house wouldn't cool off fast enough. The air is cooler outside, but there is no breeze to bring it inside, so we're stuck with the same stagnant air we've had all day. At this point, we move on to Step 3.
Step 3: We take our large box fan and stick it in the side window. It's perfect here, because it's not visible from the road, or neighbors behind us. This will ensure that we won't get the "Redneck Warning Notice" or "RWN" as I like to call it, from our Home Owner's Association.
As a side note, are the Home Owner's Associations becoming like the mafia or is it just me? We just a slap on the wrist when we moved into the neighborhood because of the red mulch in our front yard. Not because it looked sloppy; because it was red. Their logic was because if they allow red mulch, then they have to allow blue mulch, green mulch, etc. Are you kidding me with this? No one makes blue or green mulch. It was the most capricious argument I had ever heard of. I'm all for the HOA, because I don't want to live in a neighborhood with people parking on their front lawn, or putting a couch on their front porch, etc., but come on. We had to get approval every time we wanted to plant a daisy by our mailbox. (Fortunately, this ridiculous approval process has since gone away.)
Now that I took that tangent way out into left field, I'll go back to my clean air fantasy. Last night, as an example, the temperature dropped 8 degrees in our house from the time we put in the fan, until the time we woke up the next morning. We could have spent a bundle and used our A/C. However, the fans - Which use almost nothing in electricity by comparison - did the job and gave us a cool night. Best of all, our air is as clear as the suburbs will allow. Once May turns into June, the humidity will hit and there will be no amount of fans that can cool off our home then, so we have to enjoy this while it lasts.
Cool Cash!
I really hate heating and air conditioning. Mainly because all of the nasty particles that are in your house get sucked into your vents. Then, no matter how good your air filters are, you end up breathing that junk back into your lungs. People wonder why they are sick or have stuffy noses. So each spring and fall, I relish the opportunity to turn off my heating and cooling system and open up the doors and windows. The past twelve months have seemed much warmer than in years past. I don't think I was able to turn off the A/C until deep into October and now here we are approaching 90 degrees on a daily basis and it's not even June yet. In order to stem the tide for a few more weeks, what we have done is employed use of my trusty box fan. Here is how it works - Step 1: When we wake up in the morning, we wait until 8 or 9 (basically until the sun begins to hit the front of the house) and we shut all of the windows and doors. We leave the blinds closed so that the sunlight is blocked from coming in. We have those faux wood blinds from Lowe's that are white so they let in a good amount of light even if they are closed.
Step 2: Once the indoor and outdoor temperatures begin to equalize, or once the sun stops hitting the front of the house we open everything back up. This worked until the overnight temperatures crept into the 60s. Once this happened, our house wouldn't cool off fast enough. The air is cooler outside, but there is no breeze to bring it inside, so we're stuck with the same stagnant air we've had all day. At this point, we move on to Step 3.
Step 3: We take our large box fan and stick it in the side window. It's perfect here, because it's not visible from the road, or neighbors behind us. This will ensure that we won't get the "Redneck Warning Notice" or "RWN" as I like to call it, from our Home Owner's Association.
As a side note, are the Home Owner's Associations becoming like the mafia or is it just me? We just a slap on the wrist when we moved into the neighborhood because of the red mulch in our front yard. Not because it looked sloppy; because it was red. Their logic was because if they allow red mulch, then they have to allow blue mulch, green mulch, etc. Are you kidding me with this? No one makes blue or green mulch. It was the most capricious argument I had ever heard of. I'm all for the HOA, because I don't want to live in a neighborhood with people parking on their front lawn, or putting a couch on their front porch, etc., but come on. We had to get approval every time we wanted to plant a daisy by our mailbox. (Fortunately, this ridiculous approval process has since gone away.)
Now that I took that tangent way out into left field, I'll go back to my clean air fantasy. Last night, as an example, the temperature dropped 8 degrees in our house from the time we put in the fan, until the time we woke up the next morning. We could have spent a bundle and used our A/C. However, the fans - Which use almost nothing in electricity by comparison - did the job and gave us a cool night. Best of all, our air is as clear as the suburbs will allow. Once May turns into June, the humidity will hit and there will be no amount of fans that can cool off our home then, so we have to enjoy this while it lasts.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush...
Who is going around thinking of these phrases? I understand this to mean that the catch that you have is better than two that you could potentially get, but come on. Unless you're hunting, why would you have a bird in your hand?
Discretion is the Better Part of Valor -
Now this is one of my favorite sayings. I have to admit though, I'm still in the learning stage on this one. Sometimes, it's so tempting to say exactly what is on your mind.
For example, we were eating dinner at my grandmother's house when we were younger and my uncle (her son) was recounting the Billy Joel song "Only The Good Die Young". He said "Ma, if only the good die young, then you're going to live to be 150."
Perhaps, discretion could have been used here. I have to admit though that it was pretty funny.
The best part about writing this random blog is that while I'm typing, my wife, the Phillies fan, is sitting next to me, riveted by the Yankees-Orioles extra inning game. To be honest, I'm not even riveted. Sick to my stomach is probably more appropriate. I mean, not to belabor the point, but if this game gets any worse, we're going to need a wet cleanup next to the couch.
Discretion is the Better Part of Valor -
Now this is one of my favorite sayings. I have to admit though, I'm still in the learning stage on this one. Sometimes, it's so tempting to say exactly what is on your mind.
For example, we were eating dinner at my grandmother's house when we were younger and my uncle (her son) was recounting the Billy Joel song "Only The Good Die Young". He said "Ma, if only the good die young, then you're going to live to be 150."
Perhaps, discretion could have been used here. I have to admit though that it was pretty funny.
The best part about writing this random blog is that while I'm typing, my wife, the Phillies fan, is sitting next to me, riveted by the Yankees-Orioles extra inning game. To be honest, I'm not even riveted. Sick to my stomach is probably more appropriate. I mean, not to belabor the point, but if this game gets any worse, we're going to need a wet cleanup next to the couch.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Excuse me while I cut your head off to get ahead...
People don't care in this day and age. To paraphrase Nene Leakes from The Celebrity Apprentice People will cut your darn head off to win. Not news, I realize, but when did life become so impersonal? I remember when I was in high school and college, my jobs were the best! I loved going to work. I tell many people that the best job that I've ever had was the one where I made $6.00 an hour cashing out people at the gas station.
I remember that I came in to work on my birthday and all of the people who worked there came in to wish me a happy birthday and they made me cupcakes and we had a great time. Now, you're lucky if you get the "Happy Birthday" email. Then there's the card that everyone that works in the office signs and there is nothing close to a personal message in the card. It's so impersonal that it's ridiculous.
Thinking back to that job, many of my favorite lines were born there:
1. From a DJ that used to come by at least twice a week, in response to playing objectional music for an upcoming party he was working:
"That would fly like a fart in church"
2. To a coworker when discussing our dumpster, which was painted blue:
"You have a date with Big Blue"
3. Regarding the temperature that was out of control
Person 1: "Man, is it hot in here or is it just me?"
Person 2: "Oh no, it's me!"
4. Coworker obsessively trying to clear something from eye:
Person 1 - "There's something in my eye"
Person 2 - "Ok.....ok....enough with the cheesy pick up lines"
5. Proprietor to employee 1:
"Can I see you in the Manager's Office?"
Employee 2 to Employee 3
"Wonder what that is all about..."
Employee 3 *Winks*
"Oh she's going in there for a little extra..."*Nods and smiles*
I remember that I came in to work on my birthday and all of the people who worked there came in to wish me a happy birthday and they made me cupcakes and we had a great time. Now, you're lucky if you get the "Happy Birthday" email. Then there's the card that everyone that works in the office signs and there is nothing close to a personal message in the card. It's so impersonal that it's ridiculous.
Thinking back to that job, many of my favorite lines were born there:
1. From a DJ that used to come by at least twice a week, in response to playing objectional music for an upcoming party he was working:
"That would fly like a fart in church"
2. To a coworker when discussing our dumpster, which was painted blue:
"You have a date with Big Blue"
3. Regarding the temperature that was out of control
Person 1: "Man, is it hot in here or is it just me?"
Person 2: "Oh no, it's me!"
4. Coworker obsessively trying to clear something from eye:
Person 1 - "There's something in my eye"
Person 2 - "Ok.....ok....enough with the cheesy pick up lines"
5. Proprietor to employee 1:
"Can I see you in the Manager's Office?"
Employee 2 to Employee 3
"Wonder what that is all about..."
Employee 3 *Winks*
"Oh she's going in there for a little extra..."*Nods and smiles*
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
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