How To....Not Get Sick!

Not a doctor or anything, but here's my take on this. 
1.  Don't touch door knobs or handles. 
This one can't be understated.  If you don't believe me, observe how few people actually wash their hands while in the bathroom.  I remember thinking that almost everyone did.  Wow, was I wrong.  I believe the actual, in office, percentage is more like 50-60%.  I wish that I was kidding.  These slobs then go and grab the same door knob or handle that you will grab when you follow them out the door.  Avoid this by using a paper towel or your shirt sleeve to grab the door knob or handle.  If this isn't possible, then try to grab a part of the door handle that most people wouldn't think of touching.  I usually try to grab the very bottom of the handle.  Like most things, I'm probably outsmarting myself on this one.  The truth is that some snot nosed kid probably grabs the bottom of the handle because it's the only part they can reach.  Right after them, here I am grabbing a handful of their germs.  Blech!
2.  Clean and wipe down anything and everything on your desk, often!
While less egregious, the next offense is probably ten times more potent.  Ever notice the person in your office that is sick and uses their hand to cover their mouth when they sneeze or cough?  How considerate of them, you think.  Think again.  Ok, first of all, hasn't anyone ever heard of coughing and sneezing into their elbow or arm?  Come on people, use some common sense.  If everyone would just use their arm rather than hands to cough/sneeze into, then we would probably eliminate the spread of germs by at least 20-25%.  Instead, they cough or sneeze into their meathooks, which are now, *Shock Alert*, filled with germs, mucus, and other fun little treats.  The petri dish that now exists at the end of their arms are soon to pass a litany of diseases on to you.  "How?", you ask.  They come to your desk and "borrow" your pen, stapler, hole punch, mouse, keyboard, etc.  Next thing you know, you're using these objects and the germs go right to you.  Honestly, at this point, I want them to just keep the items that they've "borrowed".  "No, really, I insist, you keep the pen!" 
3.  Don't touch your face!
So, when the goober in your office finishes sneezing all over their hands and then grabbing your pens, you unknowingly transfer these disgusting germs to yourself by using the item they've borrowed and then touching your face with the very hand that is having it's own personal "Germ-O-Rama".  The "Germ-mobile" has now made it's delivery by way of the infested co-worker's hands, onto your desk supplies, and onto your face by way of your hand. Gross!  This is one that I've got to think about everyday.  I constantly touch my face without thinking about what I've just touched or who I've come into contact with.  As a result, I'm in the bathroom washing my hands like it's my job.  Now, if only I could get that written into my review.  Pefect transition to my next point....
4.  Wash your hands often!
So, your co-worker has the courtesy of sneezing or coughing the contents of the Physician's Desk Reference onto your belongings.  Even more considerate than that is they don't have the common sense to wash their hands before spreading their "cheer" onto you.  Don't let their negligence put you at risk!  Head right into the bathroom and wash your hands, especially if one of these sickly individuals has "made nice" with any or all of your belongings.  I know that I'm a little excessive when it comes to this, but I'll even take Clorox Wipes and clean the items that I believe have been used/touched by others.  Many people will keep a bottle of hand sanitizer at their desk, but I personally feel gross after using it because my hands feel sticky and icky.  It's just a complex and in reality your hands are much cleaner after using the sanitizer than before.  My point is that whether it's soap or sanitizer, it beats the fool who's been digging in their bodily orfices and are now touching everything you hold as holy and sacred on your desk/person.
5.  Use Listerene and Nasal Rinse on a Regular Basis
Among the endless forwards that I receive and delete without reading, there actually was one that I was glad I took note of.  It was going through all these ways to stay healthy and the #1 piece of advice was to use Listerene and a nasal rinse twice daily.  The idea behind these 2 is that when the inconsiderate "piece of work" in your office passes on the gift that keeps on giving, it doesn't inflict bodily harm right away.  The germs have to infect your body somehow and usually that is by getting into your nasal passages or mouth/throat.  They use these parts of your body to grow until they are able to infect and hamper your immune system.  The best way to combat this, once the germs are in your body, is to rid yourself of them before they begin to grow and cultivate.  Use Listerene in your mouth, by gargling for 30 seconds or so.  This will kill most, if not all germs in your mouth.  The nasal rinse performs a similar function in your nose.  The lack of use of the nasal rinse is particularly disturbing to me.  You wouldn't think of going anywhere without brushing your teeth twice a day, so why would you think of not cleaning out your nasal passages just as often.  As entertaining as it is to walk around with the buildup of dirt and germs in your nose, it's probably one of the more objectionable parts of daily hygiene that people are oblivious to.  I'm sorry, blowing your nose is not a substitute to this.  If that were the case, why not rub some tissue along your teeth instead of brushing/flossing.  If you agree with that, you're probably the specimen that doesn't wash your hands when you're walking out of the bathroom in front of me.  I remember talking about the nasal rinse with my grandma and she replied, "...my doctor said that I've got to do this everyday for it to be effective."  Really, grandma?  You don't say. What's the problem with that?  This isn't like waxing a car where you can do it two or three times a year and the snot beads off of your nose for months at a time. 

6.  Avoid the plague, like it's the plague...or something...
If you see a sickly individual around you, avoid them as much as possible.  My co-worker has no problem telling the nearest walking infection to get away from her.  She'll turn to their face and say, "You can leave now!"  She's got the right idea.  While it may seem to be insensitive, I say it's every man/woman/child for themselves in avoiding the next illness.  Just think, is that person going to be there for you while you're at home laying in bed unable to breathe properly?  Most likely, they're feeling better by then and living it up while you're suffering through every breath.

Good times, right?

Mason-Dixon

One of the more fascinating "landmarks" in the United States is the Mason-Dixon line.  Supposedly, this is the line that divides the north from the south.  There is a sign denoting it's presence at the southern most border of Pennsylvania along interstate 95.  For some reason, I've not noticed this on the western border of Pennsylvania when traveling along interstate 79. 
So, why write a blog about this, right?  Well while I report that there is a sign denoting the point at which a person approaches the Mason-Dixon Line, there appears to be no other physical landmarks to visit at this point.  My trusty friend, the Internet, has told me that there are small stone markers that occur every 5 miles near the Mason-Dixon Line to denote where you are in relation to the line with a "P" engraving meaning you are on the Pennsylvania side and an "M" engraving meaning that you are on the Maryland side of the line.

When I used to teach, the students had to take their standardized tests with roughly a month left in the school year.  After this, many teachers showed movies, had "Play Day" or other activities that were not largely attached to the objectives that had to be taught throughout the year and were largely tertiary in relation to normal instruction.  I never believed in this, mainly because it was my job to teach as long as school was in session, but also because I observed that many classrooms had behavior problems due to the unstructured nature of these school days.  My goal was to keep the day as normal as possible.  One activity that I used to work with students on was to plan a trip across the country.  During this trip, there were certain things that they would have to work into their trip, such as determining how much gas they would have to buy, where they would eat, and most importantly, which landmarks they would like to visit.  Great idea, right?  Well, it wasn't without complications.  One group decided that they would like to plan a trip to the Mason-Dixon Line. 

Here's my transcript of this revelation:
Me: Where are you traveling to?
Student: The Mason-Dixon Line...
Me: Why?
Student: Uh........
Me: What are you hoping to see there
*At this point, all of the students in the group are looking at each other trying to recall why they thought of this landmark.*
Me: Here's the deal, you've got to choose landmarks where there are things to do.  Do you know of any activities at the Mason-Dixon Line?
Student: Um.....no
Me: There might be more to it than this, but as far as I'm aware, there is a sign at the side of the Interstate saying "Mason-Dixon Line" and that's it.  It's not like there is a line painted across the road with a museum attached.
Student: Oh
Me: You can still go to the Mason-Dixon Line, but it won't count as one of your five landmarks

Student looks at me as if I'm crazy with the "Why would I want to do that" expression on their face.
Mission Accomplished and yet still Impossible.

So, beyond the fact that I taught my students the important lesson of working smarter not harder, I was also disappointed to reflect on the fact that there wasn't any museum of sorts to commemorate the Mason-Dixon Line.  It's one of the most famous lines in the United States.  After all, especially along the east coast, you always here someone say
"That's the stupidest looking outfit this side of Mason-Dixon..." or
"That is the finest cow this side of Mason-Dixon...", etc.
You get the idea.  Most great or dubious ideas are held in the regard of being the top or bottom in relation to their location with respect to Mason-Dixon.  As if, there could be a finer cow on the other side of Mason-Dixon, but we can't be sure so we're going to put the disclaimer out there.

Would love to report that this is the finest blog this side of Mason-Dixon, but sadly, when you write a blog about Mason-Dixon, you've said all that you have to say about your status.  Maybe I'll just buy one of those "Adopt-a-Highway" signs so I can at least put myself on par with Mason-Dixon, give or take a bicentennial.