So you're looking for an apartment to call home for the next several months, years, etc. and you're searching through various sites on-line looking for that perfect place...
You might come across the Archstone website. After all, they have several properties in multiple states. As far as I can tell, they're one of the largest property managers across the country. This, my friends, is not meant as a form a flattery. On occasion, you might observe, that bigger is not necessarily better. In my opinion, Archstone falls under that category. They've become too big to know how their tenants like to be treated.
Sure, they will flaunt artificial numbers at you explaining how many new renters they sign up each month with their teaser rates that include $1200 in free rent for a 12-month lease, or their 30 day guarantee - which is my personal favorite. I think that a more significant statistic would be how many of their tenants they are able to convert into a second lease after the initial promotional lease expires. My guess is that this number is pretty low because people renting from Archstone realize that once the teaser rate expires their rent is going to go up $100 a month, plus the cost of living increase that occurs even when our country is in a recession. Secondly, they realize what a piece of crap they've been living in and they can now leave without having to pay the penalty of a month's rent. So, if you're unable to front an extra month of rent, then you'd better get used to breathing in moldy air, or having a shower or sink back up filth everywhere. It's a great experience - really it is - At least that's what they'd have you believe.
The Archstone 30-Day Guarantee
Let's look at this piece of work. Archstone is telling you, as a renter, that if you don't like their apartment, for any reason, you are able to leave within the first 30 days without penalty. Sounds great, doesn't it?
Then you sit back and think about what goes into your first few days in your new apartment.
1. The mental anguish and time consumption required to box up your belongings
2. The time and financial commitment required to transport your belongings
3. The frustration involved in moving your belongings into your new apartment - including unpacking.
What kind of idiot does all of this and then says, "Hey, I'm not happy with my apartment. I'd like to do #1-3 again within 30 days of the last time I did this." Answer: No one. This 30-Day Guarantee is a bunch of bullshit. No one would do this. I'm speculating here, but I believe it's safe to say that the only people that take advantage of this bogus guarantee are those that are in an absolutely deplorable situation. Either that, or they've got money/time to burn.
The Archstone Amenities
Let's talk about the heated pool, hot tub, exercise room, clubhouse, etc that was available in our particular community. There wasn't one single month that one of these units didn't have some kind of flaw requiring that they were closed or inoperable. The exercise room that is shown on the Archstone website looks like the second coming of Bally's. Then you get in there and you have 2 treadmills, a weight machine, a stationary bike, and an elliptical that are cleverly photographed against a wall mirror to intentionally make the room appear larger than the 15 foot square that it actually is. Keep in mind that at least one of these machines is perpetually inoperable.
The Archstone Shared Water Policy
One of my personal favorites is the fact that there isn't an individual meter for water/sewer, etc for each apartment. Archstone conveniently accepts the bill for the entire community and then breaks it out per apartment according to how many people live there. So, for Jill and I to live in an apartment causes us to pay $75 a month in water/sewer/trash fees, even though we use less water than people that live in a desert. Seriously, when we actually got a water bill, our use didn't even eclipse the 1000 gallon mark per month. Never mind that we moved out early and haven't used a drop of water for the past 2 months and continue to receive these asinine bills.
Needless to say, our Archstone experience was awful. Our moving truck was forced to park in BFE because, contrary to what we were told prior to move in, we were not allowed to park close to our apartment. Rather, the approved zone would work. The approved zone was located about a fourth of a mile from our front door.
We were told that if there we hung any pictures then we would have to pay to have our apartment repainted, regardless of how many holes created or whether or not we patched the holes.
We were told that, upon moving out, we would have to pay a cleaning fee for both the carpet and the apartment as a whole regardless of their state of cleanliness. They are telling us this as we are standing inside of our apartment o' filth. I'm not exaggerating. There are black marks and cuts in the linoleum, mold on the window sills, showers that back up (nothing like showering in your own filth that is up to the middle of your calves), bathroom sinks that back up, holes in the exterior door(s) that are so wide you can use them as an alternate peep hole, air filters that haven't been changed since the Carter Administration, and best of all, neighbors that let their dogs relieve themselves wherever they please - the sidewalk, the bottom of the stairs, the deck above your head. You name it.
Archstone is the WORST possible apartment that you can call home. I can't possibly put into words the smell of mold that we would wake up to every morning, or the wafer thin walls that allowed me to hear everything our neighbors were doing - seriously I could hear their cell phones vibrating, amorous activities, and bathroom activities. The people that own these apartments are in serious denial about what they are offering their renters. I would dare say that not one of them would spend a week in these horrific conditions. Yet, the perception is that they are renting out the Ritz Carlton or something.
2 thoughts....
1. Not inexpensive - certainly cheap (as in quality)
2. Popcorn ceiling and wall to wall mirrors - think about this - there's nowhere to put your furniture because of all the damn mirrored closets (although great closet space)
Bottom line - if you see the Archstone logo - run away quickly!
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Tebowmania and being a Jets Fan
Being a NY Jets fan, I've experienced quite a bit of ridiculousness in my years of following this team. If there is a Jets fan out there that is between the ages of 18 and under, then they have no idea what a true Jets fan has had to endure. Even I will admit that I haven't endured all that the long time fan has suffered.
About a year ago, I went out for pizza with a friend in Rock Hill, SC. The name of the pizza parlor was Empire Pizza. As an aside, their pizza is outstanding. Apparently, the owners are long time Jets fans. We went in to order and my friend, Becky, told them that I was a big Jets fan, as well. Their first question was surrounded around the length of time I've been a Jets fan. You see, many Jets fans haven't experienced the embarrassment and disappointment that the old time fans have.
There has never been a greater period of Jets prosperity than the previous 15 years. When the Jets won the Super Bowl, they had an additional 1 or 2 years where they were good, but otherwise they were mediocre to putrid. The entire decade of the 70s was a disaster. The 80s was hit or miss with 81-82 being good, 83-84 disappointing, 85-87 good, 88-89 a joke. The 90s were similar to the 70s in that the team was mostly underperfoming, outcoached, and they drafted as poorly as any other team. That changed once Bill Parcells marched into town in 1997.
From 1997-2011, a period spanning 15 seasons, the Jets have only had a losing record on 3 occasions. Their Win-Loss record during this time is a respectible 128-112, or a .533 winning percentage. They made the playoffs 7 times during this stretch. To consider that the team has only made the playoffs 14 times in its entire existence, this is a pretty impressive accomplishment.
That brings us to the present day. With Rex Ryan at the helm, the Jets have had their training camp in Cortland, NY over 3 of the past 4 seasons (including the current camp). Each year, there is some kind of fan fare. Year 1 was the welcoming of Ryan and Sanchez to right the ship. Year 2, the team was featured on HBO's Hard Knocks series. This year, it's Tebowmania. Tim Tebow, who was traded to the team in the offseason from Denver, has to be the most bally-hooed back up quarterback in the history of football. Every time he speaks, the sports writers listen as if they are at "The Last Supper" or something. Today, Tebow takes his shirt off at the end of a rain drenched practice and every writer in America caught a picture of it. Remarkably, the writers are so focused on Tebowmania that they aren't even paying attention to the starting quarterback, Mark Sanchez. One reporter even addressed Sanchez as "Tim", to which Sanchez replied, "I'm Mark."
Where does the acquisition of Tebow rank in terms of the Jets blunders and missteps? Time will tell on that one. It gives the opposition another dimension to prepare for, but is it worth the media circus that the team is going to have to endure?
About a year ago, I went out for pizza with a friend in Rock Hill, SC. The name of the pizza parlor was Empire Pizza. As an aside, their pizza is outstanding. Apparently, the owners are long time Jets fans. We went in to order and my friend, Becky, told them that I was a big Jets fan, as well. Their first question was surrounded around the length of time I've been a Jets fan. You see, many Jets fans haven't experienced the embarrassment and disappointment that the old time fans have.
There has never been a greater period of Jets prosperity than the previous 15 years. When the Jets won the Super Bowl, they had an additional 1 or 2 years where they were good, but otherwise they were mediocre to putrid. The entire decade of the 70s was a disaster. The 80s was hit or miss with 81-82 being good, 83-84 disappointing, 85-87 good, 88-89 a joke. The 90s were similar to the 70s in that the team was mostly underperfoming, outcoached, and they drafted as poorly as any other team. That changed once Bill Parcells marched into town in 1997.
From 1997-2011, a period spanning 15 seasons, the Jets have only had a losing record on 3 occasions. Their Win-Loss record during this time is a respectible 128-112, or a .533 winning percentage. They made the playoffs 7 times during this stretch. To consider that the team has only made the playoffs 14 times in its entire existence, this is a pretty impressive accomplishment.
That brings us to the present day. With Rex Ryan at the helm, the Jets have had their training camp in Cortland, NY over 3 of the past 4 seasons (including the current camp). Each year, there is some kind of fan fare. Year 1 was the welcoming of Ryan and Sanchez to right the ship. Year 2, the team was featured on HBO's Hard Knocks series. This year, it's Tebowmania. Tim Tebow, who was traded to the team in the offseason from Denver, has to be the most bally-hooed back up quarterback in the history of football. Every time he speaks, the sports writers listen as if they are at "The Last Supper" or something. Today, Tebow takes his shirt off at the end of a rain drenched practice and every writer in America caught a picture of it. Remarkably, the writers are so focused on Tebowmania that they aren't even paying attention to the starting quarterback, Mark Sanchez. One reporter even addressed Sanchez as "Tim", to which Sanchez replied, "I'm Mark."
Where does the acquisition of Tebow rank in terms of the Jets blunders and missteps? Time will tell on that one. It gives the opposition another dimension to prepare for, but is it worth the media circus that the team is going to have to endure?
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Pics of the Week - 07.24.12
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| Meet The Critters with my boss, Todd, and co-workers, Rachel and Anna. |
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| Blue Mews and Red Ruff with me at the Meet The Critters event. |
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| The Companion Animal team in front of the Executive tank. |
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| The view of the Pacific Ocean from the beach behind The Hotel Del Coronado. |
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| The Hotel Del Coronado from the water front. The hotel spreads out for what seems like an eternity. |
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| We were eating at a wonderful restaurant, named "C-Level", which is right on the bay. While we were eating, a pirate themed ship floated by with some actors on board doing a pirate chant. |
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Fantasy Football Live Auction Draft - Pitfalls
Auction drafts are an alternative to the more traditional snake style draft that many fantasy leagues employ. Whereas a snake draft slots everyone in numerical order (1, 2, 3, etc, for example) for the odd rounds (round 1, 3, 5, etc) and reverse numerical order (12, 11, 10, etc, for example) for the even rounds (round 2, 4, 6, etc). This is incredibly frustrating if you have the 1st pick. You know that everyone in the league is going to draft 2 players before you get a chance again. You're now looking at 45ish minutes of boredom. Or, if you have the last pick in the 1st round, then you watch all the players you covet come off the board, before you even get a chance to draft.
The biggest problem with a snake draft is that there is a lot of sitting on your hands. It's not very interactive and your league owners become increasingly frustrated with the amount of time the draft is taking.
An auction draft solves many of these problems. You give each league owner a set bank roll - depending on your league size, $200 works well. Then players get nominated one-by-one to be bid on. If a league owner has enough money in their bankroll, they are "in-play" on every player that is nominated. They must analyze, strategize, and remain engaged throughout. In an auction draft, if you want the 2 best players that are available at the start and have enough money to outbid everyone else then you can make it happen. Last year, I ended up with Drew Brees and Arian Foster. There is no chance that I would have gotten that combination in a 12-team snake draft.
This is my 7th year running a live Fantasy Football draft. Through the years, there have been several pitfalls. I'm going to discuss them here and how to avoid them. Some of these solutions are more closely related to Snake Drafts, some Auction Drafts, and some will work for both.
1. Draft Fouls - There is always someone at your draft that either picks someone that has already been selected, or who is injured/retired, etc. My first question is why are in a serious fantasy draft if you don't know which players are on an active roster? No matter what you do, there will always be "Drunk Guy" who isn't paying attention. We keep a big poster up with all of the player names on it by position. Once this person has been drafted, we cross his name out. Buy a pad of Self Stick Chart paper, or if you want to go cheap, buy a sheet of posterboard for each position and use some tape. It's much less expensive than trying to buy someone's program, or pre-printed labels to stick on a board.
http://www.amazon.com/Adams-Writen-Stick-Sheets-WSP20232/dp/B002568662/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1342990089&sr=8-5&keywords=self+stick+chart+paper
2. Crowd Control - One of the biggest problems with doing a live auction draft is that everyone wants to talk and have fun. This is problematic because no one can hear what is going on, or who has bid on what. We've solved that by having an "everyone's in" philosophy. The owner who is next will nominate a player to bid on. At that point, everyone is in. Each owner will have a placard or table tent in front of them. The owner nominating the player will control the bidding by calling out an opening bid that increases until the player has been selected by a team. Each owner will have a placard or table tent in front of them. When the bid reaches a point where they are no longer interested, they flip the placard/table tent over signifying that they are no longer bidding on this particular player. By having the owners rotate the nominations of players, the league commissioner is freed up to oversee everything. If someone isn't paying attention, then they may have just overbid on a player they don't want.
3. Owner Arrival - Always a concern when you are doing a live draft is everyone showing up on time. It will never happen. Let me repeat - NEVER! In the previous 6 years of doing this, there has never been a time where everyone shows up on time. To solve this, we start the draft earlier than normal and have the initial half hour or hour be a "meet and greet" type of scenario where everyone can get food/drinks, smack talk other league owners and look over stats and rule changes. Once everyone has arrived, you can start the draft without anyone being pissed, etc.
4. Cash Outlay - Our league is not the type where you send your money later. If you don't bring the cash, you aren't in the league. There is no scenario under which we are chasing people for money later. Throughout the years, we have never had someone fail to show up with the money. We put this on the league message board, email everyone, and text everyone prior to the draft so that there is no confusion. I literally put this in every communication that I send out. If need be, I have people at the ready as subs, but have never had to utilize this strategy - Knock on wood.
5. Overspending Auction Budget - Surprisingly, this was a big issue last year. I really thought that, having reached adulthood, most people would be able to count, etc. We have taken 2 steps to cut down on the confusion - we are going to post a spreadsheet showing how much everyone has spent, and if an owner overspends, they will receive a penalty against their auction budget and forfeit 2 in-season transactions (our league limits the number of waiver transactions you can make so this is a more severe penalty that you might think.) This limits someone bidding $20 for a player when they only have $18 left on their bank roll, which is a huge pain in the ass, because then you have to determine who had the last legit bid and then resume the bidding from that point. This puts everyone in check and, miraculously, everyone's math starts getting a lot more precise when they learn of the consequences.
6. The Limas Sweed Doctrine - One thing I noticed is that the last 2-3 position players selected are usually guys that don't contribute to a league owner's roster very much. We refer to this as the "Limas Sweed Doctrine" due to the selection of this Pittsburgh Steelers Wide Receiver in the last round of our fantasy draft one year. The room let out a collective "Who?" when Limas was drafted. To prevent valuable draft spots being occupied by players that are closer to insignificant than valuable starter, the Limas Sweed Doctrine calls for the draft to be over once each league owner has exactly 3 open spots on their roster. At any time following the waiver period after the draft, each league owner can pick up any undrafted player to fill these remaining 3 spots. The quality of players chosen post-draft has greatly increased and you don't have to sit around to watch meaningless selections being made for the last 3 rounds. Do the math - in a 12 team league, this equates to 36 picks. If you assume each player is taking a minute and a half to make their picks, you are shaving close to an hour off your draft time.
The biggest problem with a snake draft is that there is a lot of sitting on your hands. It's not very interactive and your league owners become increasingly frustrated with the amount of time the draft is taking.
An auction draft solves many of these problems. You give each league owner a set bank roll - depending on your league size, $200 works well. Then players get nominated one-by-one to be bid on. If a league owner has enough money in their bankroll, they are "in-play" on every player that is nominated. They must analyze, strategize, and remain engaged throughout. In an auction draft, if you want the 2 best players that are available at the start and have enough money to outbid everyone else then you can make it happen. Last year, I ended up with Drew Brees and Arian Foster. There is no chance that I would have gotten that combination in a 12-team snake draft.
This is my 7th year running a live Fantasy Football draft. Through the years, there have been several pitfalls. I'm going to discuss them here and how to avoid them. Some of these solutions are more closely related to Snake Drafts, some Auction Drafts, and some will work for both.
1. Draft Fouls - There is always someone at your draft that either picks someone that has already been selected, or who is injured/retired, etc. My first question is why are in a serious fantasy draft if you don't know which players are on an active roster? No matter what you do, there will always be "Drunk Guy" who isn't paying attention. We keep a big poster up with all of the player names on it by position. Once this person has been drafted, we cross his name out. Buy a pad of Self Stick Chart paper, or if you want to go cheap, buy a sheet of posterboard for each position and use some tape. It's much less expensive than trying to buy someone's program, or pre-printed labels to stick on a board.
http://www.amazon.com/Adams-Writen-Stick-Sheets-WSP20232/dp/B002568662/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1342990089&sr=8-5&keywords=self+stick+chart+paper
2. Crowd Control - One of the biggest problems with doing a live auction draft is that everyone wants to talk and have fun. This is problematic because no one can hear what is going on, or who has bid on what. We've solved that by having an "everyone's in" philosophy. The owner who is next will nominate a player to bid on. At that point, everyone is in. Each owner will have a placard or table tent in front of them. The owner nominating the player will control the bidding by calling out an opening bid that increases until the player has been selected by a team. Each owner will have a placard or table tent in front of them. When the bid reaches a point where they are no longer interested, they flip the placard/table tent over signifying that they are no longer bidding on this particular player. By having the owners rotate the nominations of players, the league commissioner is freed up to oversee everything. If someone isn't paying attention, then they may have just overbid on a player they don't want.
3. Owner Arrival - Always a concern when you are doing a live draft is everyone showing up on time. It will never happen. Let me repeat - NEVER! In the previous 6 years of doing this, there has never been a time where everyone shows up on time. To solve this, we start the draft earlier than normal and have the initial half hour or hour be a "meet and greet" type of scenario where everyone can get food/drinks, smack talk other league owners and look over stats and rule changes. Once everyone has arrived, you can start the draft without anyone being pissed, etc.
4. Cash Outlay - Our league is not the type where you send your money later. If you don't bring the cash, you aren't in the league. There is no scenario under which we are chasing people for money later. Throughout the years, we have never had someone fail to show up with the money. We put this on the league message board, email everyone, and text everyone prior to the draft so that there is no confusion. I literally put this in every communication that I send out. If need be, I have people at the ready as subs, but have never had to utilize this strategy - Knock on wood.
5. Overspending Auction Budget - Surprisingly, this was a big issue last year. I really thought that, having reached adulthood, most people would be able to count, etc. We have taken 2 steps to cut down on the confusion - we are going to post a spreadsheet showing how much everyone has spent, and if an owner overspends, they will receive a penalty against their auction budget and forfeit 2 in-season transactions (our league limits the number of waiver transactions you can make so this is a more severe penalty that you might think.) This limits someone bidding $20 for a player when they only have $18 left on their bank roll, which is a huge pain in the ass, because then you have to determine who had the last legit bid and then resume the bidding from that point. This puts everyone in check and, miraculously, everyone's math starts getting a lot more precise when they learn of the consequences.
6. The Limas Sweed Doctrine - One thing I noticed is that the last 2-3 position players selected are usually guys that don't contribute to a league owner's roster very much. We refer to this as the "Limas Sweed Doctrine" due to the selection of this Pittsburgh Steelers Wide Receiver in the last round of our fantasy draft one year. The room let out a collective "Who?" when Limas was drafted. To prevent valuable draft spots being occupied by players that are closer to insignificant than valuable starter, the Limas Sweed Doctrine calls for the draft to be over once each league owner has exactly 3 open spots on their roster. At any time following the waiver period after the draft, each league owner can pick up any undrafted player to fill these remaining 3 spots. The quality of players chosen post-draft has greatly increased and you don't have to sit around to watch meaningless selections being made for the last 3 rounds. Do the math - in a 12 team league, this equates to 36 picks. If you assume each player is taking a minute and a half to make their picks, you are shaving close to an hour off your draft time.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Birthday Gifts and Grant Hill
It's that time of year again when the birthday gifts start to come in. I've already received one of the coolest things I've ever seen - and probably never thought I'd see --> A St. Bonaventure Bonnies Atlantic 10 Men's Basketball T-Shirt. Being an adult fan, I've really adjusted my view of being a fan. I'm not the type that is into autographs, or things of that nature. I prefer to have experiences, or in this case artifacts from an experience that signify the event, such as this T-shirt. The best ones are the most spontaneous. I never thought the Bonnies had a chance because of their history to win this tournament, but I enjoyed the ride they were on, hoping that they could prove me wrong. At the end of the day, the very thing I least expected occurred. When you don't know what's going to happen, you can sometimes be in store for a treat. In fact, one of the coolest experiences that I've had in my life happened by total accident.
I had a doctor's appointment one day, so I was home from work in the afternoon. I went to the doctor and afterwards walked over to Border's to look at some books and CD's. I spent a few minutes browsing and looked up to see Grant Hill from the Detriot Pistons reading a magazine. He had his foot on a bench and his elbow on his knee, flipping through the magazine. Under his arm was the board game, Duke-opoly. Grant Hill is from Duke University. I walked over and said hi to him, shook his hand and wished him well. At this point, he was out with an injury so I told him that I hoped he recovered very soon. He appreciated it and then I left him in peace to read his magazine. There was no fan fare, no photo-op, no autograph request. The incredible experience for me was exchanging a few words with a tremendous athlete. He was very gracious with me. That image won't soon leave my mind.
I had a doctor's appointment one day, so I was home from work in the afternoon. I went to the doctor and afterwards walked over to Border's to look at some books and CD's. I spent a few minutes browsing and looked up to see Grant Hill from the Detriot Pistons reading a magazine. He had his foot on a bench and his elbow on his knee, flipping through the magazine. Under his arm was the board game, Duke-opoly. Grant Hill is from Duke University. I walked over and said hi to him, shook his hand and wished him well. At this point, he was out with an injury so I told him that I hoped he recovered very soon. He appreciated it and then I left him in peace to read his magazine. There was no fan fare, no photo-op, no autograph request. The incredible experience for me was exchanging a few words with a tremendous athlete. He was very gracious with me. That image won't soon leave my mind.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Pics of the Week 07.09.12
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| Las Vegas, in front of Paris. |
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| Las Vegas brings out everyone. Here is Pete Rose signing autographs. |
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| Just as we were finished gawking at Pete Rose, we turn the corner and there is Tony Dorsett signing autographs in an art gallery. 2 stars in one day...not too shabby! |
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| Jill and I, in front of the Hard Rock Cafe. Our friend, Margaret got a terrific shot here! |
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| Marcy Playground performing at Mandalay Bay in Vegas to lead off the Summerland Concert. |
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| Mark McGrath and Sugar Ray performing at Mandalay Bay as part of the Summerland Concert. |
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| Sammie at top of the hill outside of my office. You can see for miles up here as our building is actually down in the canyon. This picture was taken from outside building 3. |
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| The stage at the Del Mar Fairgrounds in San Diego for the Summerland Concert. |
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| Rachel, Jeff, and Jill at the Summerland Concert in San Diego. |
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| Backstage at the Summerland Concert in San Diego with Sean Winchester (Everclear's drummer), Jill, Rachel, Josh Crawley (Everclear's keyboardist), and Jeff |
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| Jeff and Sammie on the couch. She's not spoiled or anything! |
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| We went to Carlsbad to hang out with our friend, Jeff H. I couldn't tell whether these people should be collecting garbage on the side of the highway or what? |
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Pics of the Week 06.28.12
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| Jill and I in the Petco Suite at Petco Appreciation Day at the Diamondbacks-Padres game. |
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| In front of the party bus on our way to the Van Halen concert |
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| Our view from the suite inside Staples Center of Van Halen. |
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| Jill with the Van Halen afterglow. |
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| Jill in front of the cross and Veteran's Memorial on top of Mt. Soledad. |
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| The view of a sunset over the Pacific Ocean at La Jolla Beach from the top of Mt. Soledad. |
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| She had me at hello. |
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| The view from the top of Mt. Soledad. It may be difficult to pick out, but if you look in the background above the people walking on the path, you can see some of the buildings in downtown San Diego. |
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| Jill at the top of Mt. Soledad. To the right of her, you can see the buildings in University Town Center, where we live. |
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